Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Bungalows

On Saturday I visited "Wonderland Express" at the Chicago Botanic Gardens. Although the name sounds like it's some sort of cheezy Christmas event for children, it is actually amazing. Using only natural elements such as wood, gourds, nuts, and bark they constructed incredible reproductions of Chicago sights, arranged them in beautiful flower strewn settings, artistically included umpteen model trains, and even provided very real looking - but not wet or cold - snow! It was delightful!



Marina City, Wrigley Buiding and bridges over the Chicago river are not far from the "Bean" in Millennium Park. Even Northwestern University's famous arch is included!

What really fascinated me, however, was a series of Chicago style bungalows. They were included to illustrate Michelle Obama's childhood home, but I thought of my grandparents' home instead.


My grandparent's home at 79th and Kimbark on the south side was similar to the home shown on the right. Its "front" door was actually on the right side. One opened the door and faced a flight of stairs. Once on the main floor, a left turn took you into the living room. The front wall was a big bay window as you see on the right above. In front of the fire place to the right was my grandma's rocking chair. On the small table next to her chair there was always a crossword puzzle in progress along with a basket of her crocheting, also in progress. My grandpa's sturdy chair was next to the arched doorway. My images of my grandparents - especially of my grandfather - are of them sitting in those chairs. I know they got up and moved around, but in my head, they are always sitting.

Sometimes the entire left side of the living room was taken up by a huge quilting frame. Grandma's two out of the house activities were the Ladies Aide Society and her quilting society. When the individual quilt pieces had been constructed at church quilting meetings, it was time to quilt the entire bedspread. The huge pieces of cloth were attached to the wooden frame and the ladies would then sit around the frame in Grandma's living room and meticulously sew the batting between the top piece work and the bottom material as they gossiped. The frame would sometimes sit in her living room for weeks on end.

If you turned right at the top of the entry stairs you entered the dining room. My major childhood memory is that Grandma always had a filled candy dish on the server and we were always welcome to sample. I also remember that Grandma always slipped us a few coins in this room as we prepared to leave after a visit. My own mother continued this tradition, always giving our boys a few dollars after a visit or after she attended some performance or event with them. Wonder if I'll feel compelled to do the same thing when my grandchildren visit? Is that genetic?

If you turned left after walking through the dining room, you entered the bedroom area. Straight ahead was the kitchen.

My grandparents each occupied one of the two bedrooms. Grandpa's bedroom always felt strange to me and I really don't know why. I just have a memory of lots of paper back adventure type books on his bedside table which I found somewhat titillating. Today I'm sure the overwhelming smell of cigar smoke would gag me, but that was just a normal part of their house.

For a young girl living in a new 1950's built home, Grandma's kitchen was fascinating. The sink and side board was a separate white metal piece, not attached to any counter. Her cabinets had glass fronts and seeing Grandma's glasses and plates on display always surprised me. The real wonder, however, was the ice box. Yes, Grandma had an electric refrigerator, but in the wall between the kitchen and the back porch was an amazing compartment that opened with big handles on both sides. Before she got her electric refrigerator, the ice man would come every day and put a big block of ice in the icebox from the porch side. When we ate at Grandma's and Grandpa's, we ate "normal" food, but if we just "dropped in" we would see all sorts of strange things on the kitchen table. They ate quasi German food often and enjoyed all sorts of things I considered really weird - ham hocks and pigs feet among them!

The main floor was interesting, but the basement and the attic were irresistible to this young girl. A walk up the attic stairway next to the kitchen brought us to a world of musty boxes and fascinating things to explore. Dress up fun followed. A walk downstairs was even better. At the foot of the stairs were shelves just crammed with canned fruits and vegetables that Grandma had "put up". I don't actually remember eating any of this food and I remember vague feelings of fear of botulism or other such evils, but looking at the rows of canned foods was fascinating. The coolest thing ever, however, was the coal bin! This was a separate room in the basement filled with the coal they actually used in their furnace. Just walking in this room meant being covered with coal dust and, obviously, my parents didn't want us to do that---but sometimes we were just too tempted and went in anyway.

As I think about it, at the time of my memories of my grandparents bungalow in the 1950's, they were probably younger than I am now. Grandpa did go to work as an Illinois Central engineer and enjoyed walking down the street to the tavern most evenings when I was quite young. Grandma took the streetcar to her church events and to visit family. Sears was only a block away and was often visited. In my head, however, they were really old.

After Grandpa died in the early 60's, Grandma moved to the Lutheran Home in Arlington Heights. The "home" bought their house as part of the entrance fee. By then, to use 1960's terminology, the neighborhood had "changed". Today it is part of a solid middle class, primarily black community. I imagine the kitchen has been updated several times and the musty fun-filled attic has probably been made into bedrooms. I'm sure the coal bin is long gone, along with Grandma's canning and the ice box. I wonder if the family that lives there now has any idea of the history of this bungalow?

I do know that every time I travel the "skyway" on my way to Indiana or Michigan, I crane my neck as we drive past the Sears which is still across the street from the bungalow that was such a part of my childhood. I wonder why I feel such a sentimental tie to this bungalow when the homes I've actually lived in don't have that effect?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Today and Yesterday

Yesterday I made chili in the crockpot. As usual, it was wonderful to realize that dinner was prepared before noon! All day long, however, a strange odor annoyed me. The cleaning lady had been here. Had she used some new cleaner or was she was drinking a particularly pungent flavor of Starbuck's coffee? Had something melted in the dryer? Were the tree lights about to burn out?

Evening came and we ate the chili. The odor dissipated.

This morning, while putting away dishes, I noticed a plastic storage box without its lid. "Strange", I thought. "I always keep my lids with their bottoms." Putting aside the lidless box, I started to put the crockery bowl back into the crockpot and saw something very strange. Instead of a silver-tone bottom, the crock pot had a bright blue surface. Yep, you guessed it, the blue plastic lid had spent ten hours yesterday nestled between the crockery and the metal heating unit! Kevin proved the merit of his college degrees, let the crock pot warm up for a half hour, and was able to peel off the then soft lid. We will live to crock again....and, most fortunately, no police or fire departments were needed! (By the way, Ken confessed to having dropped the lid in the crock pot the previous day.)

This afternoon, however, as I baked cookies I remembered a Christmas about 18 years ago when the local gendarmes did show up.

Eighteen years ago, Kevin was eight. He always loved helping me bake Christmas cookies...mostly because the dough was oh so delicious. The tree was up, the gifts wrapped, Christmas carols were playing in the background, and we were cooking together. It was picture perfect---until the doorbell rang. There stood a policeman asking if Kevin Kosnik lived here. Not yet eight year old Kevin!

Did I know about the suspicious letter that not yet eight year old Kevin had written to a classmate? Did I know that a concerned mother a few blocks away was so freaked by this suspicious letter her daughter received that she called the police to investigate?

Whaaaaaat???????????

We finally put two and two together. Eighteen years ago, we were one of the rare families that had a computer and were the owners of even rarer software designed for children: Reader Rabbit, Math Rabbit, and Writer Rabbit. These programs were pathetic by today's standards, but Kevin was quite enamored of them, especially Writer Rabbit which made it possible for a kid to write some very funny things.

Kevin thought one of the stories he wrote was so funny that, unbeknown to me, Kevin mailed it to his classmate Laura. Laura probably thought it was funny, too, but her mom sure didn't. I was truly amazed that Kevin knew how to address an envelope---a skill lacking by most of my middler school students.

The police officer had a good laugh after reminding Kevin to not send anything to this particular family in the future. As far as I know, Kevin hasn't even had a parking ticket, so I guess this first brush with the law made a big impression.

And I'm probably the only mom around who fears a visit by the police whenever I bake Christmas cookies!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A Rosewood Christmas

Last Night Was The Rosewood Family Holiday Party. I capitalized every word in the previous sentence because the invitation we received was written that way. Must have taken the activity director hours to type!

When I arrived at 6:45 for the 7:00 event, the dining room was already filled with residents, 98% in wheelchairs, each anxiously watching the door for their family members to arrive. I was glad I had arrived early as Mom visibly relaxed when she had family! Although I tried to tell Mom about my week and show her pictures from the trip, she really couldn't focus. The upcoming party was foremost in her mind.

Between 7:00 and 8:00 we had food and entertainment. Man, it was a long hour! A pianist was the entertainment, but he was on the other side of the room and didn't have a microphone, so even those of us with decent hearing couldn't hear his commentary or music. We ate our three cheese cubes, one meatball, two sausages, four green and two red grapes, and solitary cookie and drank our mysterious sweet pink beverage mostly in silence.

Finally 8:00 arrived and so did Santa. Santa was a little on the thin side and said "Merry Christmas" with a distinct Spanish accent, but it became magical as he pulled out a specially chosen gift for each resident. The activity director called out the names: "Ekaterina Dimitriskaya: Happy Holidays", "Max Lowenthal: Happy Hannukah", "Mildred Mohrman: Merry Christmas". The gifts were distributed: Ekaterina's wrapped in snowman paper, Max's in dreidel paper, Mildred's in a Santa themed bag. Wrinkled faces erupted into smiles as they opened their gifts.

Later we found out that each staff member had adopted a resident and had specially chosen a gift for someone they cared for. Mom's gifts - a red velvet zippered bag with "naughty" written in rhinestones on one side and "nice" on the other, a candy cane themed metal storage box, and a photo album were lovingly chosen by María, her evening nurse, who knew Mom liked red and had lots of family pictures to store. María was as excited about giving this gift as Mom was about receiving it.

It didn't matter much that this Christmas party was made up of non-English speaking Russians, Hanukkah celebrating Jews, atheists, and Christians of various types. It didn't matter that the entertainment was pretty worthless and the food un-exciting. It did matter that employees were showing love to residents who are not always easy to love.

In other parts of town, extravagant parties were going on last night with elegant decorations, food, clothing, and gifts. I think, however, that the simple display of love at Rosewood was exactly what God has in mind for a Christmas party. The God born at Christmas came to love the unlovable and I think he'd be most pleased how that love was shared at Rosewood last night.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Random Thoughts From a Week in New England



This week I gave BER seminars in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Rhode Island and, as always, learned and observed some fascinating things.

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS New Englanders are so much more subtle about decorating for the holidays than we crass mid-westerners! In an entire week I only saw ONE inflatable Santa---though it, like most here, was deflated. Many homes simply have a single lit candle in each window and that's really quite beautiful. If there are outdoor lights, they are elegant---a single strand of white lights. It reminded me of my childhood. "Way back then" almost no one hung lights outside and we would go "to see the lights" in the rare neighborhood where people did a lot of exterior lighting. (I was still glad to get home and see all the really pretty and extensive lights all over our neighborhood!)

RHODE ISLAND On my quest to set foot in all 50 states, Rhode Island has been an enigma. I have driven through the state three times...but had never actually set foot on it. Although this seminar was billed as being in Providence, it really took place in Seakonk, MA. and I thought that once again, my feet would not have the Rhode Island experience. I was saved, however, because my program manager, Hillary, collects college t-shirts and wanted to buy one at Brown and we drove into Providence...so here's proof of my official Rhode Island venture!

The hotel we stay in in Rhode Island is affiliated with a prominent school of hospitality and is staffed by students. It is an elegant old building that some people say is haunted. I didn't see any ghosts, but felt haunted in a couple of ways. My room was on the second floor...and there's no elevator to the second floor. Great fun dragging two suitcases, a computer bag and purse up the elegant center stairway :-). The seminar room was chilly, got colder as the morning wore on, and I saw participants putting on their coats. Hillary twice was assured that they had turned up the heat, but finally was told "they" were going to go on the roof to fix something. Unfortunately, "going on the roof" meant that, in addition to shivering, we were treated to loud banging and drilling noises. What a great way to keep people interested in the seminar! A threat by Hillary to go up on the roof herself got the workers to stop the noise making and somehow they fixed the problem during lunch and the afternoon was toasty. The participants were most gracious about this whole mess. Kudos to them!

The restaurant at this hotel, however, is first class and my meal was so beautiful that I actually took a picture of it! Shrimp stuffed with crab and encased in philo dough. Note the placement of the shrimp tails!

We certainly don't eat this elegantly most days on the road!

MAINE is one of my favorite states and I was disappointed to once again be in an ordinary Holiday Inn on the west side of town away from the ocean. Hillary once again saved the day, taking an hour after the seminar to go to this beautiful sight in Port Elizabeth.


BOSTON We stayed in Waltham which is northwest of the city, so I didn't get downtown at all. We did, however, get in a huge back-up on the interstate as we drove into town from New Hampshire. The GPA gave us an alternate route on side streets which was interesting, but unbelievably slow and congested as hundreds of other people were also taking the alternate route. I love Boston, but I'm not sure I could deal with the rush hours on their narrow old highways!

PEOPLE are always interesting. At two seminars there was a person who came to my same seminar for the second time! That was really exciting to me. The person in Rhode Island was particularly fun as she excitedly told me, "Oh, I did X activity with X grade and they loved it, we did Y activity over and over again and it was terrific...." A really nice feeling for me! Of course, that joy was tempered by a few folk who wrote really nice complimentary paragraphs on their evaluation forms...and then circled 5's on the 1-7 evaluation scale! One guy in Rhode Island engaged me in a long conversation about all the Chicago sports teams and I managed to fake a knowledgeable response to his statements. When he started to talk about the Bears winning the Super Bowl back in the 90's I mentioned that I taught Jim McMahon's kids. He was just blown away by this and wanted to know every detail about those kids! Pretty funny.

ILLNESS On Tuesday night I felt something weird in my throat and by Wednesday afternoon, my throat really hurt and my voice was about gone. That was the experience I have been dreading since I began this BER gig. Fortunately, Thursday I was coughing and congested, but did have enough voice to do the seminar...albeit in a croaking way. Fortunately, Thursday night I returned home after infecting who knows how many people on the airplane!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

And again I say, Rejoice!

My favorite Bible verses, Phillippians 4: 4-7, were the New Testament lesson at church today. Verse 4 is the one I especially like, "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice." As I tend to grouse about things that are really not all that important, and have recently been grousing in spades about a volunteer group I'm in, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear those words again this morning.

It also reminded me of my brush with fame. When I lived in Lincoln Park in Chicago in my twenties, I sang in my church choir and there I had a solo when we sang an anthem based on this text! I was really nervous about this huge responsibility, but it actually came out OK....mostly because my "solo" consisted of the words "And again". Yep, that's it, a solo of two words. Fortunately or unfortunately, outside of my frequent "soloing" in the classroom, that was the first and last solo in a choir.

Aside from memories of my solo fame, three things I'm rejoicing about right now are...

MY I-PHONE The first reason to rejoice was that I've had AT+T cell phone plans for so long that I'm grandfathered into a really old contract plan and the monthly rate doesn't increase with the new phone. Santa made an early delivery of the actual phone and I will joyfully open the empty I-phone box on Christmas morning. What fun it has been! I've joined the texting world which has already increased communication with my offspring. On the airplane to Portland today, I could put the phone into airplane mode and listen to my I-tunes library instead of airplane noise. While waiting to get off the plane I could sit there and read my e-mail! I was able to take a picture of the Oscar Meyer weiner-mobile when it just happened to be in my neighborhood last week. I can get a list of the closest lobster restaurant near this hotel, read reviews of the establishment, and get step by step directions to arrive there. And the fun is only beginning!

MAINE In spite of spending a couple of scary hours in the Androscoggin River after a kayaking spill in 2000, I love Maine. I'm oh so hopeful that I'll see a Moose tomorrow when we drive to New Hampshire, but even if I don't, I am reveling in the clam chowder and crab cakes that I just had for dinner. I'm looking forward to having a lobster roll for lunch tomorrow. I'm delighted that the curvature of the earth makes it possible to fly to Maine in 1 1/2 hours when it takes more than two hours to fly to Boston....which is closer to Chicago. Finally, I rejoice in the fact that there are only FOUR people registered for my BER seminar tomorrow....but they didn't cancel it! I'm curious how the day will play out. It may be really fun or it could be a dud depending on what those four people are like.

HOTEL BEDS: Even this ordinary Holiday Inn has one of those wonderful pillow top mattresses and four pillows to choose from. Hurray for competition!

More from the December New England adventure tomorrow!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Blow Up Those Decorations!


When I was a child there was an ubiquitous appliance store called Polk Brothers. Every year they gave large plastic Santas to autumn shoppers. People actually shopped at Polk Brothers simply because they'd get one of these wonderful decorations! It seemed like a Polk Bros. Santa spent the winter on just about every lawn in town. Man, they were ugly! And they didn't die! Every year, Polk Bros. Santas were dragged out of storage and put back on lawns. This recent photo shows a Polk Bros. Santa that is still alive some thirty years after Polk Bros. went out of business. It appears to need to lean again the stair railing for support, but it lives on.

More modern decorations are not so fortunate. Today, while driving to and from a friend's home, I saw deflated Christmas decoration after deflated Christmas decoration. There were dead snowmen lying on lawns. There were expired Santas. Occasional deflated grinches, football players, or Homer Simpsons joined the dead decoration brigade. Not a single inflated blow-up decoration was to be seen....just as in the above picture.

Tell me, what is festive about deflated pieces of colorful plastic lying on lawns? Am I missing something?

I did see one scene that I thought was thought-provoking, however. On one lawn there was a pile of deflated snowmen. Next door was a large wooden manger scene. Did the real meaning of Christmas finally kill off the Snowmen? Or is the ex-Sunday School teacher just too eager to read meaning into an accidental occurrence?

Meanwhile, if a snarky plastic inflated Grinch is your favorite image of Christmas, please BLOW IT UP!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Bark Bark

My book group discussed "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein last night. It's a book about NASCAR racing narrated by A DOG!

Ken's comment was, "So, the dialog goes like this, huh? 'Bark, Bark, Arf, Arf, Woof, Woof'?"

Actually, no. The dog tells a sensitive, touching story about his NASCAR racer owner's family and his (the dog's) sometimes funny, sometimes heart-wrenching reactions to people during tragic events in the family. You don't have to like either racing or dogs to thoroughly enjoy this book and you might walk away, as I did, with a totally new view of our canine companions.

Our conversation, not surprisingly, veered into dog stories and, as the discussion wore on, I marveled at rather convincing stories that dogs do indeed comprehend and understand.

Our hostess is currently dogsitting. She told of this little Schnauzer's need for daily anti-anxiety medication and warned us not to say "good bye" when we left, as that word would leave the dog bereft. We were all careful to avoid the "b" word when we departed. I chuckled as this dog snuggled up on the couch next to the one person in the group who really hates dogs.....just as dogs always seem to go to Ken. The consensus was that the dogs really do sense who doesn't like them and will do all in their powers to make friends.

Becky told of her parents' dog. When her mother was dying in her Indiana home, the family gathered around her bed for prayer. The dog lay down on the floor next to the bed, covered his head with his paws, and remained in that position, silent, for hours. A few years later Becky's father was dying in a nearby hospital. Becky and her sister came home to get some sleep, but a few hours later were awakened by the dog running around crazily and barking hysterically---something this placid dog never did before or since. Sure enough, the phone shortly rang with news from the hospital.

When my god-daughter Liz told me on Monday that she is pregnant, she also told me that her dog has been the first to know about each of her pregnancies. The dog who always sleeps in the kitchen suddenly slept next to her bed. The independent dog started following her around ALL the time. The dog ate differently. With this second pregnancy, Liz hadn't even missed a period when the dog went bonkers. The dog was acting so weird that she actually took a pregnancy test. When the test was negative, she became concerned about the dog but, a few days and another pregnancy test later, she discovered the dog in fact had recognized the pregnancy before she did.

With all this positive dog conversation, I almost began to think I need to make up for a lifetime bereft of canine companionship. Then, however, Mary told of her new puppy. Mary's husband gets up an hour early every morning to give this puppy a 45 minute walk. Mary gives it another 45 minute walk in the afternoon. It's not yet trained. If it doesn't get adequate exercise, it tears the house apart. This will continue throughout the Chicago winter. I think I'm quite content to be dog-less.

Besides, Ken and I have an unusual pre-nuptial agreement. I can have either a husband or a dog. I'm keeping the husband.

But I will look at my relative's and friend's dogs with new appreciation....and wonder what they are thinking about me....and if they'll write a book about us.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Miscellanea

My niece writes Friday Fragments, but I can't steal that title since today is Monday. Miscellanea will have to do.

A MOM NEVER STOPS FEELING GUILTY NOR PROUD

Guilty: Today David defended his Master's thesis and invited us to witness his presentation. I was unable to attend, David said that was not a problem, but I felt guilty nonetheless.

Proud: Today David defended his Master's thesis! According to Ken, he did himself very proud, speaking articulately about his research for an hour and a half.

Who knew that all the searching for Goldbug in Richard Scarry's, "Cars and Trucks and Things that Go" would someday lead to an advanced degree in Civil Engineering!

COMPARISONS

I didn't go to David's thesis defense because I attended a foreign language seminar given by another presenter from the same company I represent. I wanted to sit in a participant's chair and observe the day from that point of view, hoping to get some new insights on both content and presentation. I walked away with a few of both...but mostly walked away feeling very good about my presentations and all the preparation time I've spent tweaking hundreds of details. That was a good feeling.

The bad feeling was that this presenter had a HUGE audience....164 people! I know it is because her topic directly relates to one of the major "No Child Left Behind" goals, meaning that administrators would be eager to send teachers to this event. Nonetheless, I know I'll feel let down if/when my numbers are the usual 40-50 when I go out later in the month. Too bad they don't pay us based on our evaluation scores rather than on how many people attend!

SMALL WORLD

When I arrived at the seminar this morning, I put my things on a table and went to the washroom. When I returned, I found my god-daughter sitting in the next chair! With 164 people in the room, it's possible that Liz and I would not have even known the other was present. Instead, she and her colleagues just happened to sit at my table and she was my "partner" for all the paired activities we did during the day.

I take no credit for Liz becoming a Spanish teacher, but relish the fact that she is a very gifted educator. Liz is the daughter of dear friends who have been in my life for over 50 years. When she and her sister were very young, her parents left them with me for a weekend while they enjoyed a brief get-away. At the time Ken and I had been dating for just a short time and I was overjoyed that he was totally open to entertaining two little girls during that weekend.

Ken, incidentally, says he married me for my furniture and my sense of humor. The two things that convinced me that Ken was "the one" were his willingness to spend a weekend at the playground with toddler Liz and her sister and his volunteering to help me wallpaper my bedroom. Pretty darn good reasons in retrospect!

As part of our "partner activities" today, Liz and I did a little reading to each other. Now colleagues, I was remembering reading picture books to Liz over 30 years ago. She's now a mom of one and told me today that child number two is on the way.

Clichés are clichés because they are so totally true. As I witness David, Kevin, Liz and many other young adults I've known since infancy, I'm just amazed and delighted at the wonderful adults they have become. I'm bombarded with clichés such as "Time Marches On" and "Apples Don't Fall Far From Trees", but they are great clichés!

EATING MY WORDS

On a totally different topic, I did something last week that I have often mocked others for doing. I got up at 5:15 last Friday to go shopping at Carsons!

Now, it wasn't my fault.

My brother and sister-in-law were with us to celebrate Thanksgiving. They planned to leave here mid-morning Friday for their drive back to Colorado. Judy loves to shop and also is a new slinky size and thus needs new clothes. Carsons doesn't exist in Colorado and Judy loves Carson's selections. So, of course, it's all Judy's fault.

In spite of the early hour and driving in the pitch black darkness, it seemed quite normal to be shopping once we entered the store. Bargains were purchased and we were home by 8:30 and I was ready for a nap by 10:00.

I might actually consider doing this again next year...but need Judy as my excuse :-)

NOT EATING MUCH OF THANKSGIVING DINNER

Finally, Thanksgiving at the Kosnik house means TRADITION! Tevya of Fiddler on the Roof Fame doesn't sing about the Kosnik Thanksgiving menu...but there really should be a verse about it in that famous song.

Tradition means....

....making the dressing that Ken's mom always made. This recipe involves toasting white bread in the oven at 200º for several hours on Wednesday. The bread must then be dried and turned over repeatedly, also for several hours. Then this meticulously toasted and dried bread gets covered with boiling water and, finally, the now soggy toasted bread gets squeezed by hand to remove all the water. To this bread mixture gets added all sorts of other ingredients, including unmentionable inner body turkey parts.

....rutabagas. The first year we were married I searched the produce department for this strange Swedish vegetable. Fortunately, they now have signs identifying this round, waxy, hard croquet ball of a vegetable. Rutabagas actually are just an excuse to eat lots of brown sugar and butter. I believe the ratio is one cup boiled rutabaga to one full stick of butter and a cup or more of brown sugar.

...gravy. There is actually nothing terribly original about the gravy, but I always think of my in-laws as the gravy is being made. They used to stand together at the stove bickering about every little aspect of the grand gravy sacrament. Their bickering was actually quite a beautiful witness to their togetherness. Now Ken and Judy made the gravy...and I haven't seen them bicker yet.

....cranberry. jellied. from the can. No fancy cranberry relish recipes for us! We do have a very fancy cut glass cranberry dish that gets used only on Thanksgiving. I suspect this fancy dish was originally designed for something else, but I can't imagine using it for anything but cranberry. jellied. from the can.

...sweet potatoes. This year, they were simply baked. If you hear that the marshmellow industry is suffering, that's why.

Of course, I don't eat any organ meats (such as those in the dressing), gravy, rutabagas or sweet potatoes. But I'm happy with my white meat, white potatoes, and whatever fresh vegetable I can sneak into the starchy traditions.

Mostly I'm happy to have family around the table!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Can You Say About a Day

that begins with using shampoo instead of body wash in the shower?

Did I really want my skin to have extra body?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Marvels of Technology Vs. the Good Old Days

I love being able to pay our bills online. Log into our account, put in a few (large) numbers, push a few keys, and, violá, our bills are paid. I can do these simple transactions one day and have the payment actually go out several weeks later. Some regular bills are set up to pay themselves automatically each month. I don't need to write checks. I don't need to pay for stamps. It's great!

EXCEPT.....when the credit card company sends me a new credit card because my old account"was compromised". (Was my female Mastercard caught messing around with a male Visa card???)

No problem, just change the account number and address on the on-line information and the large quantity of money goes to a new home. No problem, except for the fact that I put in the wrong account number. So Mastercard tells me that I haven't paid my bill, the bank clearly says that I have, and no one can figure out where my large quantity of money has gone. Several phone calls later, we are closer to a resolution. Mastercard will find the account that was given my money, will tell the poor folks who think they have had a windfall that what has been mysteriously given is being taken away, and will eventually credit my account...and take away the finance charges.

Oh, for the good old days (Not really).

The good old days did, however, have some pretty wonderful things. Among them was Rocky and Bullwinkle. This wonderful show debuted 50 years ago this week and our family was hooked from the beginning. We all would gather around our small TV in the living room and be mesmerized by the misadventures of Rocky the Flying Squirrel and his side-kick Bullwinkle the Moose. The "Fractured Fairy Tales" were great, but we particularly liked "Peabody's Improbable History". In that segment, Mr. Peabody (who was a dog) and his "boy Sherman" would explain historical events as they never occurred. We also were quite fond of bad guy Boris Badenov and his "better" half Natasha Fatale.

Our family was also quite fond of two other prime time cartoon shows, Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear. "Better than your average bear" became part of the family lingo and we couldn't help but think of Mr. Ranger whenever we saw a real park ranger in a national park.

The funny thing is that these were cartoon shows. My brother and I were high school age when they were in their glory. My parents - especially my dad - loved these shows. They were totally innocent and totally silly....and I miss them!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

30 Years

Our congregation celebrated its 50th anniversary this year and this weekend was culmination of the many special events. Last night we attended a fancy dinner and this morning was a special celebratory worship. What was particularly special was that almost all of the pastors who have served this congregation were in attendance at both events. They were recognized and teased at last night's dinner and they all participated in this morning's worship. Seven of them lined up in front of the altar for a group photo was quite a sight!

We have been members of this congregation for 30 of its 50 years and know every one of the pastors except for the first. This morning's preacher spoke about all the memories an anniversary brings and I didn't hear much of the rest of his sermon because I was thinking of all the memories.

I looked at Pastor F and realized he had baptized and confirmed both of our sons. He and I worked together very closely during a difficult time in the congregation's life when I happened to be the lay leader. He officiated at my father's memorial service. He twice sat with me in a hospital waiting area before undergoing surgery. He made Ken comfortable and welcome at our church when he wasn't yet ready to become a Lutheran and then guided him through the process when he was.

I looked at Pastor B who entered my life at a critical time. He arrived as an assistant pastor when I was pregnant with Kevin. He and his wife were always interested in our boys and indulgent with their coffee hour antics. He preached at my dad's memorial service and prepared for that sermon by talking with me for a couple of hours, subtly bringing out memories I had forgotten I had. I'm most thankful to Pastor B, however, for his Tuesday morning Bible studies that introduced me to the Bible as I had never seen it before. He would read to us directly from his Greek Bible to give accurate word meanings. He taught me to really think about what we read and consider the culture of the times. His humility and wisdom have made a deep impression on me and my faith.

Then there was Pastor J who introduced us to a much wider church than we had before experienced. Through him we became friends with foreign doctoral students studying at the seminary in Chicago and we began to welcome refugees from around the world. Mostly I am thankful to Pastor J for mentoring David. Another humble and wise man, Pastor J took David (and many other teens) under his wing and quietly gave him terrific lessons on how to be a Christian. I credit Pastor J with much of the nurturing that has developed David's faith.

Pastor S was an interim pastor twice - after two different pastors left. He brought joy and calm into what could have been traumatic times. The twinkle in his eye was always enough to get people to do what needed to be done and to smile while doing it!

Pastor G brought many new ideas. I wasn't always happy with his new ideas but that disagreement on some practices really helped me to think and really helped me to realize "it's not about me". It took a lot of kicking and screaming on my part to come to that realization however. Pastor G spent a long time with Kevin prior to his hours delayed jaw surgery and forged a good bond with Ken when he was hospitalized. Pastor G's quiet presence was particularly good with both of them.

Pastor W was another interim pastor who inspired me with her mid-life career change, her willingness to step up to the plate in a couple of very difficult circumstances, her calmness in the midst of chaos, and her ability to balance pastoral and grandmotherly duties. Watching a woman my age baptize an infant and then in a lovingly grandmotherly way carry the infant down the aisle was a beautiful sight.

Finally Pastor K is our recently installed new pastor. Having served on the call committee I already know him quite well and am excited about the gifts he brings. I think he has been a bit overwhelmed by all the anniversary hoopla surrounding his arrival, but am sure that his leadership is going to result in yet more wonderful surprises.

These pastors have shared half of my life and I have shared theirs. None have been social friends, but they and their spouses have been family. Seeing pictures of their grandchildren last night and sharing our family news was like a family reunion. Seeing them all together was a gift....a reminder of the shared experiences, a reminder of how God works through so many different types of people, and a reminder that change isn't always easy but God sees us through it.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Few Travel Observations

In spite of all the terrorism warnings and reminders ad nauseum, a man sitting near me in the departure area at O'Hare asked me where McDonalds is located and then ASKED ME TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIS BAGS while he went there! I was dumbfounded....and totally nervous that someone would come and put a bomb in his suitcase. He was on my flight, after all!

Later at the Burlington airport I entered a small washroom. Outside the stall a woman had just parked her suitcase and computer bag while she used the facilities. Granted, it is difficult to get all your stuff into a small stall....but REALLY DUMB to leave your stuff where anyone can easily take it. Anybody want the laptop I borrowed from her?

My father who over-taught me over and over again to be super careful about everything would be horrendously horrified.

People in Vermont must really be as quirky and back to nature as they are made out to be. It was 50º in Chicago and is 40º here. Nonetheless, there were at least two people on the plane wearing flip-flops and my young male seatmate was wearing just a t-shirt. (Actually he also had on pants and shoes, but you knew that!)

Finally, while riding in the hotel shuttle we passed a decent looking motel named the "Ho-Hum Inn". Who on earth would want to stay somewhere that advertises itself as "Ho-Hum"?

Fortunately I'm staying in a fascinating Hampton Inn and will now go for a swim in its exhilarating tiny indoor pool, eat dinner at the gourmet quality "T BONES" restaurant next door, and watch Glee with glee later on. I hope deciding which of the four different types of pillows is most comfortable won't keep me awake all night.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

10 Inconsequential Things

Sometimes it's the small things that bring joy to an ordinary day.

1. DRIVE-UP PHARMACIES It happened about 28 years too late, but we have a new Walgreens complete with the FIRST drive-up anything allowed in this town. It isn't -20º and I wasn't dragging a sick two-year-old, but it still was nice to stay in my car and pick up a prescription.

2. DRIVE-THRU McDONALDS Also about 28 years too late, but Northbrook is about to get its FIRST drive-through restaurant. It will be located about six blocks from our first home. The irony of this is that Ken often traveled to Europe when the boys were young. To break up the lo-o-o-o-ng days, I'd pack the kids in the car and drive at least twenty minutes to the complete other side of the village in order to let them feast and play in the inside equipment. Sometimes I'd drive twenty minutes in another direction to go through a drive-in when Ken wasn't coming home and I couldn't stand the idea of cooking mac and cheese one more time. I doubt I'll be a regular customer at this new McD's, but I'm excited for some young mom with a traveling husband and young kids.

3. STUFFED ANIMALS (Spoiler Alert, Nancy) Every month there is a sale at the nursing home. Someone brings in all sorts of things for the residents to buy. My mother, the professional bargain shopper, loves this event. Yesterday I gave her $20 and suggested she buy some Christmas presents. Today she proudly showed me her purchases which included three adorable stuffed animals for her great-grandsons. (Of course, there are only two great-grandsons, but math isn't Mom's strong suit.) The funny thing is that I had no fewer than five conversations and "petting" episodes as I walked out of the building holding these soft creatures. Whether age two or ninety-two, stuffed animals bring out "oohs" and "ahs" in everyone.

4. LISTS I packed today for a two-day seminar series. I've always despised packing and could spend hours worrying that I had included all the necessary items. About six months ago I made a list of all the things I might need for a trip. I also bought duplicates of all my toiletries and packed cosmetic bags with all those items. I keep all the "technical" gear in my computer bag. Now I pull down my cosmetic bags, lay out my clothes, put the computer in its bag, double check that I've included everything else on my list, and, voilá, I'm packed.

5. SUNSHINE It's gray and Novemberish in Chicago today, but they predict sun in Burlington VT tomorrow. Burlington is a beautiful town on the shores of Lake Champlain. Last time I was there it was so rainy and cloudy that I never saw the lake. I'll see it tomorrow!

6. SENSE OF HUMOR I printed my boarding pass and was horrified to see that my name is listed as Kosnik AliceMS. "Oh, no!" I thought. "They'll never let me through security if my name doesn't match my ID." A quick e-mail response from the logistics person at my company assured me there is no problem. United requires a title and I guess I'm a "Ms." Guess she'll go home and have a good laugh tonight with her family over a dumb presenter!

7. TURQUOISE I had a manicure and pedicure yesterday. The finger nails are a nice professional clear shade. My toes are turquoise! Ken laughed and commented that he was glad I hadn't gotten a tattoo.

8. PUMPKIN PIE I made one Sunday. It's really OK to make something I really like when it's not yet Thanksgiving.

9. JERSEY BOYS We saw Jersey Boys last Valentine's Day and both said we'd love to see it again - something we've never said about any other play. Today I was able to get inexpensive tickets for a matinee while my brother and sister-in-law are here for Thanksgiving. I'm smiling already!

10. CASSEROLE I made two on Sunday. We'll eat one for dinner tonight. I don't have to cook! Enough said!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

My Bucket List

By coincidence I've been to the internist, the opthamalogist, and the dentist in the past two weeks. I've also had my hair colored, my toes and fingers painted, and have exercised. Everything is in working order and as "beautiful" as it can be!

While very thankful for my health and the financial resources that make extravagances like hair and nail colorings possible, I'm having very guilty feelings as I see so much suffering around me. My prayers go out to one cousin's wife who has experienced miracles in her recovery from a horrific automobile accident, but now is facing difficult rehab that will probably not result in a return to complete normal living. Another cousin is in a crisis situation with a long term cancer. A good friend continues to battle a mysterious condition that doesn't appear to have a cure. I daily witness the effects of disease and old age among the nursing home residents. I grieve for acquaintances and friends who have lost spouses. And, oh yes, the unbelievably suffering all over the world is always on the front page of the newspaper. In most of the above situations, prayer is about the only way I can help and, while extremely important, I'm left feeling guilty for my inability to make things better. I also can worry about when it'll be my turn to suffer with something.

So I spent a couple of days pondering and, while this issue will arise again, have come to a sense of calm. We will never know why bad things happen. We have no control over many bad things, but God doesn't want us to spend our lives worrying about what might happen. He wants us to help those in need but not to stop enjoying his creation in the process.

So, I'll approach my bucket list with joyful anticipation. There are three states that I have not yet visited: Nevada, Idaho and Hawaii. Nevada and Hawaii will wait (see recent post on Vegas) but Ken and I hope to get to Idaho to visit his sister soon.

Meanwhile, we've made reservations to visit two other states in February: Yucatán and Quintana Roo. Did I mention they are in Mexico? Did I mention Ken has been wanting to see Mayan ruins since we've known each other? Did I mention that, as a teacher, I've never been able to travel in February? We're going to do it and we'll learn and grow together in the experience and I think God wants us to take advantage of opportunities like that.

Besides, I'm quite sure that prayers uttered in Mexico are just as effective as those coming from Illinois!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

You Are Fearfully and Wondefully Made

There's something to be said for memorizing Bible verses. For a variety of reasons I'm feeling cranky today....that I'm totally out of it on so many levels. In the midst of these feelings, the above words from Psalm 139 popped into my head and reminded me that I'm not "out of it" in God's eyes. I do wonder sometimes about some of my fearfully and wonderfully made traits however.

Genetically I was destined to be left-handed, far-sighted, have a longer right leg, have second toes longer than the big toes, and have attached earlobes. From my birth family I received an excellent childhood, but also received some traits that make me incredibly weird in the eyes of the world. We never had a dog or cat and I don't have a clue about taking care of an animal. My parents never cared about sports and I've never watched a professional team sport on television - except when under duress at someone's home or in a restaurant. My parents cared tremendously about the English language and, as readers of this blog already know, I go ballistic when I read the preposition that someone ended a sentence WITH. My children are right-handed, near-sighted and have "normal" toes and earlobes. Unfortunately, however, they "inherited" the animal, sports, and language traits. They are working to overcome those disabilities.


So, by genetics and up-bringing, I'm already totally out of it in most conversations. I can't talk about my dog, I can't respond when someone says, "So how about those Cubs?". I can't talk about my golf game or even understand what my golfer friends are talking about. And no one cares when I rant about misspellings or incorrect word usage.


Fearfully and wonderfully made to be a sports and animal dummy who gets hysterical about improper language usage.

I play bridge occasionally with three dear teaching friends. We sometimes play all day and love both the game and our conversations. We talk about our families, the junior high, our mutual friends, books, and whatever foolishness is happening in Illinois politics. At some point during each bridge day, however, the talk turns to Vegas. All three make several trips to Las Vegas each year, all three enjoy gambling there, all three can talk for hours about the advantages of one hotel over the other, all three talk about the perks they get from hotels and casinos for being repeat customers, and all three talk about the shows they have seen. I've never been to Las Vegas. I also have absolutely no desire to go to Las Vegas. I'm not on some anti-Vegas soapbox, I'm just not interested. But, boy do I feel weird and out of it when this conversation develops.

Fearfully and wonderfully made to be totally unaware of the whole Vegas thing.

Our choir is preparing for an upcoming concert. We are learning an extremely challenging piece. It is so difficult that professional section leaders are being hired to help us. It is so difficult that 8:00 a.m. Sunday special rehearsals are being held. It is so difficult that rehearsals are a half hour longer than usual. It is so difficult that the entire rehearsal is dedicated to this piece, leaving no time for the easier songs on the program. My feelings are of total frustration because I can't stand to do something "half-assed" and know that I will never be able to master this piece. I feel insulted that we aren't good enough to sing this without professional help. And I'm dumb-founded that apparently I'm the only one who feels this way. While I'm sitting silently hating every moment spent on this piece, I hear others say, "Oh what a beautiful piece" and "How great that ____ can sing with us."

Fearfully and wonderfully made to be so annoyed and upset about things that really aren't so important.

This morning I went once again to the Zumba water aerobics class. Once again, I was unbelievably frustrated as I can't begin to follow dance moves, especially in the water. Meanwhile, other women are shimmying and shaking their shoulders and even yelling out "olés". I wanted to just hide in a corner of the pool and do my frog jumps and jumping jacks without anyone seeing me.

Fearfully and wonderfully made to not have a dancing bone in my body.

What a blessing to remember on a crabby day that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that God loves me and all those unusual traits that are part of being fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Overkill?

At Rosewood this month my mother has decorated both a big pumpkin and a little pumpkin. She has made a Halloween pillow. She has competed in the Spook-tacular spelling contest. She has played Halloween bingo and Halloween hangman. Last week they had a ghost scavenger hunt. On Monday the monthly birthday party featured, you guessed it, orange and black cupcakes. Today a local day care center brought costumed children to sing Halloween carols to all the residents. On Friday they will have a costume contest for the residents complete with a magic show. Later Friday Rosewood will sponsor trick-or-treating for residents' grand and great-grandchildren. Every available wall in the building is covered with ghosts and black cats and pumpkins and gravestones. Whew!

Now, the last thing I'd ever do is criticize the nursing home for offering a multitude of interesting activities for the residents. They've had a lot of fun.

I can't help but think, however, about the weirdness of our culture at Halloween. Am I the only one that thinks it's VERY strange to be celebrating all sorts of macabre things with a population that experiences the death of one of their community almost every week? How weird is it that the people who often see someone being taken out in a body bag are not given any opportunity to mourn but, nonetheless, are encouraged to "play" with ghosts and monsters? Is it not strange that a community that is 60% Jewish spends the entire month observing a holiday rooted in Middle Ages Christianity?

On a happy note, however, Kevin informs me that I am safe from vampires. At a routine doctor visit yesterday, the nurse had a terrible time drawing blood from my skinny deep veins. After four needle sticks, she finally filled one of the three required vials and said they'd somehow make due with the limited amount of blood I was able to donate to the cause. Sorry Bela!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Is Santa Part of the Trinity?

On the radio today I heard an author talking about his childhood religious confusions. Santa loves children and knows if they have been bad or good. Therefore Santa must be God! The author ultimately came to think of Jesus as Santa for poor or disabled children since he is often pictured with such young people. Meanwhile the red-suited Santa is for richer children since he's pictured with rosy cheeked healthy kids. Not bad reasoning for a little kid!

This radio conversation made me think of my own ambivalence about Santa when our boys were little. Up to about age three it was easy. We took them to sit on Santa's lap which, incidentally, they hated. We labeled the major toy gift as from Santa. We read Santa stories along with the Baby Jesus stories.

By age three David was in a Christian pre-school and Sunday School and was hearing a lot about Jesus in those places. Meanwhile secular culture was emphasizing Santa. Meanwhile our preschooler asked questions. Lots of questions. About everything. And I became more and more concerned about when he would ask the Santa questions. Sure, the whole Santa thing is fun, but how could I lie to the boy who got detailed, honest answers about everything else?

When David was five, I serendipitously found a wonderful children's book that told the true story of the real St. Nicholas who gave anonymous gifts. I put it aside for the time when the Santa question would come up. Sure enough, as the Christmas frenzy developed that year David started asking questions. Most parents would certainly not want their five year old to stop believing in the magic of Santa, but I was secretly thrilled. I pulled out the St. Nicholas book and told him the truth....and then asked him not to tell his brother! A couple of years later the same scenario played out with Kevin.

Did I steal their childhood? I don't think so...and I would do the same thing again. I do wonder if they missed the joys of childhood magical belief. I also wonder how they will ultimately decide to deal with the Santa questions of their own children.

At least I hope they won't have to un-tangle beliefs that God is somehow a quad-rity made up of Father, Son, Spirit and Santa :-)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

On the Way to Ronda

In his Sunday travel column today Rick Steeves writes about Ronda, a fascinating city in southern Spain. It is best known for two things: a stunning ravine that divides the city's Moorish quarter from its newer section and its bullring that was the birthplace of the modern (that is, post 1700's) bullfight. The article brought back lots of memories---many pleasant and one ridiculous!

I have been to Ronda three times. The second visit was with friend Marilyn in 1978. On that visit I gawked at the 200 foot wide "new" bridge that spans the 360 foot deep gorge, dined in a picturesque restaurant perched on the edge of the ravine, and thoroughly enjoyed watching the young women walking with their mothers in a clockwise direction around the town plaza during the evening "paseo". The young men walked counter-clockwise and ogled the young women as they repeatedly passed by each other. I also spent time in Ronda reading and re-reading the postcard I had received at the American Express office in Sevilla the previous day. Ken and I had only been dating a month before I took off on this Spain trip but I already felt there was something "big a-brewin" with him. His postcard from home simply said, "Having a great time. Wish you were here. Love, Ken"----the first time he said "love" :-)

(Note to younger readers: WAY BACK in the dark ages circa 1978, traveling without hotel reservations meant that the ONLY way people could get in touch with a wandering tourist was to write a letter to you c/o the American Express office in the city you were visiting. It was up to the tourist to find and visit that office to see if there was any mail for you!)

My third visit to Ronda was with Ken on January 2, 2006. We, as our family tradition dictates, had gotten lost driving in the winding streets late the previous night. We gawked at the bridge over the ravine and ate at the same precariously perched restaurant. We spent a long time at the Bullfight museum and took the requisite pictures of me holding my red jacket as a "muleta" or cape in the center of the sandy old bullring.

In spite of the great Ronda experiences with Marilyn and Ken, my thoughts always return to my first visit to Ronda with Lorraine in 1976....and desperately having to go to the bathroom!

Ronda is one of southern Spain's hill towns, so one has to drive around and around to get to the city on top of the mountain. In 1976, the road was quite narrow and slow-moving. On the right side of the road was a sheer cliff coming right up to the road's edge. On the left side of the road was a precipice. No shoulders on either side. No rest stops. No restaurants. Anywhere.

An hour or so into the three hour drive, morning coffee drinkers Alice and Lorraine were becoming desperate, but there wasn't even a patch of grass where we could stop and crouch--just unending cliffs and precipices. We were absolutely miserable.

Finally, unbelievably, a dilapidated and apparently unoccupied farm building appeared on a sliver of land. No evidence of humanity anywhere. We stopped and, one at a time, went in and took care of our needs alongside the chickens on the straw-strewn floor of this abandoned building. Physically relieved we walked back to the car only to see two people rapidly walking toward the "abandoned" building. We jumped into the car and took off, suddenly remembering that in rural Spain it was common for a family to live on the second floor and keep their animals on the first floor of their home. We had used some people's residence as our own personal toilet!

And they talk about ugly Americans...........

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Windows

Our house has a lot of unique features. It was literally built by the first owner in 1950. When we moved in in 1988, we knew there were things we wanted to change....especially the kitchen with its puke green linoleum, bright orange flowered wallpaper, and dark dark Mediterranean style cabinets. Eventually the four layers of kitchen wallpaper (representing the styles of 1950, 1960, 1970, and 1980) were all removed, the rest of kitchen was remodeled, a entry-way was cut between the dining room and kitchen, and the back porch became our family room.

Along the way every appliance has been replaced and a number of exciting electrical and plumbing adventures have been undertaken. Every installer, plumber, and electrician who has entered this house has said something along the lines of "I've never seen a _____ installed QUITE LIKE THIS before."

Maybe we should have asked a few more questions about this home-made house before presenting an offer, but we were buying at the peak of a seller's market. If we hadn't put in an offer on the day BEFORE it officially went on the market, we probably wouldn't have gotten the house. We even presented the owners with a sappy letter about how we saw this as such a wonderful house in which to raise our family. Besides, it was the one house in Northbrook that came relatively close to both our wishes and budget.

Windows have not been a huge concern in this home-made house. They are triple track, so we haven't had to mess with taking storm windows up and down. We've replaced screens and every June we've paid Curt the Window Washer to shine everything up. (We learned in the first year of our marriage that paying someone to wash our windows was much cheaper than paying for marriage counseling.) No big changes to the windows....until this week!

Ken's carpenter brother replaced our kitchen window. Instead of four small windows separated by lots of wood, we now have a HUGE picture window over the sink. It is the coolest thing ever! I have stood transfixed looking at the gorgeous fall foliage in nearby yards. I have done some major moving around in the kitchen now that EVERYTHING in the kitchen is visible from the back porch. I'm about to move all the junk that has accumulated on the porch since EVERYTHING on the porch is visible from the kitchen window. I have plans for hanging Christmas lights out on the porch in a few weeks and maybe heart and egg lights in the new year. I actually went back and forth from the inside to the outside repeatedly this morning, Windex in hand, so that everything would be sparkly. I'm simply in love with my new window.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Fifth Career....And What It is Not

As one of the very first baby boomer children (38 days into the era to be exact), I've always been among the first to experience all those boomerish events. One boomerism that is even more true for the children of boomers is having many careers over the course of one's working life. I'm into my fifth. (Not the one you think, I'll open that fifth at dinner.)

Career #1 was teaching in Des Plaines. Incredibly naive, I thought I knew everything about teaching, but fell on my face over and over again in the classroom. I did receive incredible mentoring, developed life-long friendships, began presenting at conferences, and began my writing career.

Career #2 doesn't fit neatly into a time frame but began way back in 1968 when my mentor asked me to contribute my classroom applications to the theory she was writing about on teaching Spanish phonics to children. That led to further collaboration with her, then to solo writing ventures. That came to a halt when Career #3 began, but has been resurrected during Career's #4 and #5. And, miraculously, the royalty checks keep on coming!

Career #3 was my most important career...that of full-time mom. Besides having the privilege of being the one with my babies and preschoolers all day, this job came with other sub-careers such as den mother, church president, PTA health and safety chair, Sunday school teacher, and Kindergarten story teller. For better or worse, those years shaped my children and taught me the most.

Career #4 came unexpectedly when Kevin was in first grade. We both started school full time that year....he with a wonderful teacher and me with an incredibly difficult groups of 7th and 8th graders. By the grace of my kind principal, I returned the following year to much nicer students and by the end of career #4 had developed a few more lifelong friends, had greatly expanded the conference giving gigs, and, contrary to what I thought I knew at the beginning of career #1, left career #4 realizing there was still a lot to learn about learning!

Now I'm three years into Career #5 and I'm still trying to figure out what it is. I know what it is not. It's certainly not playing golf or going to the Senior Center. After spending this afternoon planting bulbs and unsuccessfully trying to dig up and separate irises, I know it's not gardening. Unfortunately for Ken, it's not being a gourmet chef....or even a moderately good cook. It's not - perish the thought - substitute teaching.

What it is is a lot of neat surprises.

This sounds like I'm writing an autobiography. That really wasn't my intention, but traveling to Wisconsin this morning for breakfast (something I sure couldn't do in Careers 1-4!) just got me thinking about the inter-twining of all the life experiences.

I met "H" in Kenosha for breakfast. I first met her when I attended a BER seminar she gave back in the early 90's. Later on, she did some consulting in my school district and we became friends. She went on to do foreign language consulting all over the world, wrote the major methods text on the market, and we ran into each other once every few years at a conference. Recently we re-connected - where else? - online. Now I'm the BER presenter and she's likely to mentor me some more. What fun it was to chat this morning with someone who shares my passion for working with foreign language teachers and what fun to see how life experiences intertwine when you least expect it.

My sons both seem to have an incredible grasp on what they want to do with their lives and both are doing all the necessary things to make those goals happen. They both know how important it is to make contacts with people in their fields and to pursue every opportunity, no matter how minor it may seem at the beginning. I hope they will have as much fun with careers #2,3,4,5.....as I have and will someday in the distant future have many "breakfasts in Wisconsin" with people who helped them along the way!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Today's News from the Family Blogs

The family bloggers now include one son, one sister-in-law, one niece and one nephew. For people who live all over the country but hate to make phone calls, it's just delightful to keep in touch via cyberspace. Today I laughed through my sister-in-law's disgusting but funny experience with a pre-school student, then chuckled through my niece's vignettes of life with two little boys, then grinned at my son's funny photographs and commentary, then smiled as my nephew beautifully expressed his love through poetry. Then I thought, "What humorous or beautiful tidbit can I add to the family tales today?" Here goes.

The alarm went off in the pitch-black darkness of 6:00 a.m. and by 6:40 I was off in the freezing October weather to see school friends at our first birthday breakfast of the year. Although it is always great to see these special people, our conversation seemed to dwell on illnesses, surgeries, and difficult parents. I briefly stopped at home and was treated to a one-sided conversation by my cleaning lady about her recently deceased client. By 8:45 when I left for church for my day of manning (womaning?) the phones for the vacationing office manager it was not just cold, but raining. The day was pretty quiet but did involve phone calls about death and illness. Another volunteer came in and described her recent painful condition and resultant surgery. During quiet moments I read a totally depressing novel about the Holocaust and Arab-Israel conflict. When my phone "womaning" day was finished, I went to the nursing home and felt the continuing sadness over the recent loss of dear but illegal immigrant employees.

Then tonight I find out that Tempe is dating Booth's boss rather than Booth who really loves her. Then, unbelievably, Izzie Stevens got fired from Seattle Grace. How can they fire her right after her miraculous recovery from horrible cancer? Then Violet still has no feeling for her baby, the only available kidney for a dying woman is from her HIV-infected sister, and the "bubble boy" goes to a school dance and collapses from infection.

OK, the last paragraph is about TV and I guess that's not real.

The paragraph about my day is true but.....there were many laughs at breakfast, the church day included welcoming our new pastor and a lunch with a good friend. The nursing home visit included pleasant conversation with my mom. And TV watching was a nice guilty pleasure.

It was just a pretty ordinary, not very exciting day....and it's very hard to compete with today's funny, joyful, and silly news from the family blogs. :-)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Strange Things I've Learned This Week

After several years of wearing athletic shoes that were so wide that I felt like I was wearing rowboats on my feet, I went to a REAL shoe store where they have employees who actually measure your foot and bring you shoes in your size! I learned that my left foot is a half size larger than my right foot (not to be confused with my right leg which is a half inch longer than my left leg). I learned that, yes, my feet are still narrow in spite of the rest of me being definitely not narrow. I learned that only 5% of the populace has narrow feet and that shoe manufacturers (except for the wonderful New Balance brand I bought) are not willing to make shoes that only fit 5% of the world. I learned that sale shoes at a real shoe store are not really more expensive than they are at DSW. Most importantly, I learned that, if I wear shoes that actually fit, my ankles do not have to hurt after walking.

Now I have to learn if anyone sells skinny non-athletic shoes to my minority group.

While listening to a talk radio segment about the I-Phone, I learned that the most popular "ap" for the I-Phone is the I-Fart. Yes, you can set your phone to make long, short, wet, or bubbly fart sounds. Yes, you can set this "ap" to go off if someone else touches your phone. Yes, you can set the timer so your fart sound goes off in the middle of your parent teacher conference. Of course, now that I think of it, I've been at a few parent teacher conferences where that would have broken the ice....as it were.

Speaking of parent teacher conferences, Kevin taught his first private percussion lessons at a local high school this week. He learned that it feels mighty strange to be called "Mr. Kosnik" in a non-pejorative setting.

I've learned that the Chicago Tribune no longer has proof-readers. Colonel McCormick must be rolling over in his grave since his venerable newspaper has fallen to the depths of spelling hell. It's bad enough when people confuse "then" and "than", but this week the FRONT PAGE said that "X" is better THEN "Y".

Of course, why should the Tribune be better than foreign language teachers who, in theory, have gone to college. On listserv messages this week, one teacher spoke of "alters" her students were going to make to observe the Day of the Dead while another was going to teach her students some "site" words.

So, I've learned that my feet are too skinny, that I have no sense of humor about I-farts after thirty years of hearing "Hey, Who cut the cheese?" in middle school classrooms, that I'm too young to have a son called "Mr.", and that I guess it's better to ALTER my SITES THEN not to.

And, yes, a preposition is what I ended this entry with.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

La Migra - Day Two

Fifty people are no longer at Rosewood: kitchen and laundry workers as well as CNAs.

I don't know if these people were "just" fired, were fore-warned and didn't come to work yesterday, or have been deported. What I do know is that the sweet CNA who put my mother to bed each night with a caress to her cheek and a gentle "Good night, mama" is not there. Lupe who always has a smile for everyone and who has learned a tremendous amount of English in a few months is not there. Aldo, father of a young boy who sometimes came to work with his dad, is not there. It's very sad.

The lobby is filled today with people filling out applications for employment. Most of the CNA's have trainees shadowing them as they learn the job. Office people continue serving meals. Staff members look frazzled and dejected. Residents are feeling the strain of being assisted by inexperienced people. It's very sad.

I admit to some surprise that proper papers were not a requirement for employment, but also wonder if the home is faced with great difficulty in finding "legal" people willing to do the work. All I know is that I just keep seeing the faces of Lupe, Aldo and others and I'm very sad.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

La Migra

There was a quarterly "care conference" for my mother this morning so I arrived at Rosewood earlier than usual. Upon entering her room, Mom asked me if I had noted unusual activity in the lobby. I had noticed that Dulce wasn't in her usual place at the desk and that there were a lot of hospice people around, but nothing strange had jumped out at me.

Mom then said that she didn't get breakfast until after 9:00 and that they were served by the administrators, social workers and other "bosses". She said that there had been a raid by immigration and kitchen workers either were taken or had not shown up at work. I thought this might be another case of my mother's imagination gone awry, but nuanced statements during the care conference did fit her story. I probably will never know what, if anything, actually occurred this morning, but it did awaken strong feelings in me.

My first reaction was actually a feeling of horror in the pit of my stomach. "La Migra" (The Immigration Police) is the cry of terror shouted in places where undocumented people work. As irrational as it sounds, I felt like someone was coming for me. Maybe I've seen too many movies about undocumented people living in fear of La Migra. Maybe I've read too many stories of families torn apart. Maybe I've just put faces and personalities on possible "illegals".

I was hugely relieved to see Dulce and many of the CNAs who take such good care of the residents doing their normal tasks today. I didn't see Lupe, the dear housekeeper who deeply touched me last Valentine's Day when she gave my mom a big stuffed bear. I don't know if this morning's event involved her. I so hope it didn't.

The whole illegal immigration issue, obviously, is extremely complex and difficult. I don't pretend to have the answers, but I can't stop seeing the human faces of these undocumented people. These are people who have come to the U.S. because helping old people use the toilet here is so much better than the opportunities they have in their home village. Some of these are people who have shared their stories with me in Spanish. These are people who work very hard and show so much love for the residents in spite of their low wages. These are people who are trying desperately to make things better for their families.

These are people who are doing something illegal...but are they really wrong?

Friday, October 2, 2009

I Want One of Those

Chicago didn't get the Olympics.

The well-known Cuban pediatrician husband of my college mentor passed away---a fact that has brought back a plethora of memories of the huge influence his wife had on my career and life.

Kevin had a bike accident on Wednesday and is nursing a very badly scraped and cut arm which, fortunately, is expected to heal just fine.

But, what is really sticking in my brain today is a request from Gloria.

Gloria is a very pleasant and "with it" resident at Rosewood. At the end of my visit with my mother a little while ago, I wheeled her into the dining room to be ready for the "Quizmo" game which was about to begin. As I pushed Mom into place next to Gloria, I turned to Gloria and teasingly asked her to keep Mom in line during the game. Then I gave Mom a hug and stood up to leave. Before I could move, however, Gloria said to me, "I want one of those." Of course, I hugged her, and now I can't get her simple and poignant request out of my head.

Many Chicagoans, the pediatrician's family, Kevin and millions of others probably all want "one of those"today, but like most adults, would never ask. What a shame that most of us have to be under five or over eighty to simply say, "I want one of those." What a shame that most of us never think to give "one of those" without being asked.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A "Bog" by Any Other Name

My mother asked me "What's that thing Nancy writes? A bog?"

I said, "It's a blog."

"OK," She said. "I wrote a blog in my head this morning. It goes like this.

I'm sitting on the toilet and the CNA asks me 'Are you finished?'
I answer, 'No, I'm Swedish.'
She then asks, 'Am I rushing you?'
I answer, 'No, I told you, I'm Swedish, not Russian.
She says, 'You're quite frank about this.'
I say, 'If you want to see Frank, he's on the other John.' "

Please, God, let my brain be as intact as hers when I'm 87!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Let It Go!

While Kevin was in California I didn't fret about his professional future. I knew he was having a wonderful experience and told myself that he'd deal with the new academic year when he returned.

Shortly after his return, Kevin took an audition for the New World Symphony in Miami and was a finalist...a wonderful achievement but not the full time job everyone had hoped for. He then had virtually nothing on his professional plate, but I gave myself daily lectures on staying out of his business and letting my worries go. Kevin may have a different opinion on how my "letting go" actually played out, but I really didn't let my brain get overwhelmed with details of his career that are completely out of my power to change in any case.

So what has happened? Kevin substituted with the Civic Orchestra in September and he leaves next week to play a concert with the New World Symphony. He is once again in the Civic Orchestra's "Musicorps" which will give school and community percussion concerts throughout the year. He is the percussion coach for the Chicago Youth Concert Orchestra, the second tier orchestra of the Chicago Youth Symphony Orchestra he belonged to in high school. Yesterday he was hired by a local high school to give weekly private lessons to a group of students and he continues to get shifts as stage manager at the Music Institute. Whew!

Obviously, my "letting go" didn't make these things happen. My "letting go" won't eventually get him a permanent orchestra position. My "letting go", however, has freed me to rejoice in each professional step Kevin takes and to be much more relaxed when he has disappointments. I'm not in charge, but God is....and, as the sappy hymn line reads, He always provides us with "yet one more surprise."

Monday, September 28, 2009

Am I still in 8th grade?

I GOT A DETENTION!

Not really, but our choir director reacted to the low attention at rehearsal last week by instituting a second rehearsal each Sunday at 8:00.

I considered being passive-aggressive and just not showing up for this extra rehearsal. I also considered "suggesting" (read: send a nasty e-mail) to the director that perhaps the music and schedule he has chosen are just too difficult for this choir with an average age of 68 or so. Instead, I acted like an adult, was pleasant, and went to the rehearsal.

And an unexpected nice thing happened. My throat didn't tighten up and I didn't make croaking sounds every time I had to sing a "G" or an "A".

A word of explanation. As a teacher I had an annual case of laryngitis. Over the years, it has taken longer to recover from each bout. Following our trip to France in June, I had some sort of airplane induced virus and again lost my voice. Talking quickly returned, but I couldn't sing at all for many weeks. Eventually I could sing low notes and high notes, but not the notes in the middle of my range. The multi-verse hymns particularly taxed my vocal chords. Yesterday I sang sans croaking!

Was yesterday some sort of divine "retribution"? Go to the rehearsal like a good girl and you will be rewarded with a healed voice? Hmmmmm.

THE WHOLE CLASS GOT YELLED AT WHEN ONLY A FEW MISBEHAVED

The water aerobics teacher read a "memo" from the exercises program director reminding us of several rules...particularly the one about not talking during the exercise classes. The vast majority of the group was really glad the issue was finally addressed.

The funny thing is that the offenders were not there today. The "good students", of course, looked abashed and were afraid to even say "excuse me" if they bumped into someone.

Things haven't changed from when the "bad kids" snickered and the "good kids" were ashamed while the entire class got a lecture back in 8th grade.

I WATCH TOO MUCH TV

This is an embarrassing confession.

While in the pool I looked out the wall of windows and saw a beautiful blue sky with white fluffy clouds. I said to myself, "Why does this view look so familiar."

Then it hit me. The REAL sky and clouds looked exactly like the opening scene of every Simpsons episode.

Get a life, Alice!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Top 10 Reasons We Own a Mini-Van

This week I received a solicitation to buy our Christmas wreath from the Music Parents Club, the Boy Scouts were selling popcorn outside the grocery store and we received the bill for our extra "umbrella" liability insurance. All are reminders of why our "Pedros" (our blue and later our red mini-vans) were such an important part of our lives.

10. The liability insurance was purchased when I was regularly transporting Cub Scouts in Pedro #1. Can't say that I miss corralling ten hyper-active nine-year-olds in the nature center. (One of the nine, a blood relative, was perfect...but those others....)

9. Later that evolved into carrying boys and instruments. Pedro #2 often carried Kevin and his marimba downtown. This was not a simple activity! The Chicago Youth Symphony's space is in a building on south Michigan Avenue. There is NO parking on Michigan Avenue. The building had a small elevator which was actually manned by a human and, naturally, all of the marimba pieces would not fit in one elevator car. So this operation required four people. I would drive and pull up in front of the building. Kevin and Ken would jump out and remove all the marimba pieces from "Pedro" and place them on the sidewalk. My mom would also get out and stand guard of the remaining Marimba pieces on the sidewalk while Ken and Kevin took other pieces upstairs in elevator sized groupings. I would, meanwhile, either drive around until this operation was complete or go and park. At the end of the audition or concert, this process would be reversed.

8. Just after Thanksgiving, and ALWAYS on a snowy, windy, cold day, I would stop after school and pick up the twenty or so wreaths that our friends had been cajoled into buying from the Music Parents Club. The car would be piled with aromatic pine wreaths until whichever boy was currently in junior high was available to help me drive around to deliver all this Christmas cheer.

7. Soon after the wreath delivery came citrus delivery. So now Pedro and I would drive to the high school and pick up carton after carton of oranges and grapefruit. Pedro, now smelling like someone spilled orange juice on a pine tree, the current high school "bandie" and I would spend a Saturday morning hauling fruit all over town.

6. Pedro often carried the entire family: the four of us, my mom, and Ken's parents. Of course, I was elected to sit in the "way back" with David and Kevin. That got harder as they grew....but I do miss having those times with everyone together.

5. Pedro also often carried Club 62. The person with the big car (me) was usually elected to drive when we went on "Shop til You Drop" excursions at the Outlet Mall in Indiana or when we went to "El Escape" at Bonnie's house in Michigan. Pedro always returned from those events filled with either shopping bags or bushel baskets of Michigan fruit!

4. Pedro is an excellent "yak" carrier. When the kayaks were purchased about 15 years ago, it was also necessary to purchase VERY expensive molded styrofoam supports that secure the kayaks to the roof rack. A very complex series of ropes and bungee cords completed the routine. Nothing like driving 55 miles an hour on the inter-state and seeing either the red or yellow kayak beginning to slide!

3. Pedro liked school. He liked school so much that he drove both boys and all their instruments and other "stuff" to multiple summer music programs in Illinois and Michigan. He drove both of them and all their stuff to multiple dorms and apartments at Northwestern. He drove to Kevin's more advanced summer music experiences in Massachusetts and New York. He drove Kevin to many auditions in nearby states. He drove to the New England Conservatory twice. He soaked up a lot of knowledge while sitting near dorms and classrooms! He became pretty musical also.

2. Pedro liked to camp and so did we when the kids were school aged. Pedro didn't seem to mind carrying wet tents and soggy sleeping bags when we got rained out. He also didn't mind serving as a motel when the lightning and thunder were scary. He even supplied the power for the air pump!

1. Pedro loved exploring the country. He knew highway 90 well---from Albert Lea, Minnesota to Wyoming and also from Chicago to Boston. Most importantly he provided a place for us all to be "trapped" together for our vacation weeks and those were probably the best family times we've had.

About a year ago, Pedro #2 was bequeathed to Kevin upon his return from graduate school. Pedro spent last year carrying even more percussion equipment all over Chicagoland and to nearby states for auditions. In May, however, we received the sad news that Pedro was no longer safe to drive.

Pedro was replaced by another used Caravan...but Kevin refuses to call the new mini-van Pedro. He says it is a car, not a person. Maybe so, but when thinking of all that happened in our 20 years of mini-van owning, HE was part of the family!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Three Totally Unrelated Topics

Topic #1: Happy Punctuation Day! ¡Feliz Día de la Punctuación! What is punctuation day? Well, it's a day to honor all sorts of wonderful things: ampersands, commas, umlauts and diéreses (which are actually the same thing...just in different languages), tildes, colons, semi-colons, dashes, and those wonderful accent marks. When you see a punctuation mark today, please thank it for all it does for the written word!

Note that I put a comma after "dashes" and before "and". That was hard to do. I was taught that there was never a comma before the "and" in a list. In recent years, however, an English teacher colleague informed me that the sacred rule had been changed. It hurts, but I now insert that comma!

Topic #2: I Can't Zumba! Zumba is a somewhat new form of exercise involving relatively simple dance/exercise set to Latin Music. There is even a "Zumba Gold" for seniors or people desiring an easier workout. For the obvious reason---I don't have a dance bone in my body--I've never attended a Zumba class. So now, in their great wisdom, the exercise gurus have come up with a Zumba-Aqua class. I love the day and time of the class, but I simply cannot dance...not on land and especially not in the water! She has us "shimmy" our shoulders. We're supposed to stick out our hips with a push. She expects us to do one rhythm with our hands and another with our feet.

I feel like a complete idiot and have completely given up. While she has the group shimmying and shaking, I just do my jumping jacks and cross-country skiing and hope that no one notices. Unfortunately, I know they DO notice.

Topic #3: Mort died yesterday. Mort was one of the people that I have gotten to know at Rosewood. He was one of the few ambulatory residents and moved quickly just using the walker for balance. He looked a bit like the old guy who did the fast dance commercial for Six Flags. My mom called him "the penguin" because he wore a white cap with a black jacket and sweat pants that bunched up around his ankles. One of the first memories I have of Mort was watching him dance with another ambulatory resident at a Halloween party last year. The joy on both their faces was palpable, as were the expressions on all those unable to dance but remembering their dancing days.

Watching Mort dance was his "girlfriend" Frances who used a wheelchair. Mort and Frances were always together, deep in conversation. Mort was very solicitous of Frances. Then Frances developed dementia of some sort and very rapidly lost her conversational and social ability. Soon she was moved to the "assisted" dining room. Mort often sat with her there as she became less and less able to communicate with him. Frances died about a month ago. Even a casual glance showed that Mort was desolate. It was sad to see him wandering the halls alone. Mort had a heart attack yesterday morning and died quickly.

Today's death notice mentions his dear wife to whom he was married for "56 wonderful years." Just as Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has publicly supported her Alzheimer's stricken husband's romantic relationship at his nursing home, I hope that Mort's wife was able to support her husband's need for an important friendship with a woman at his nursing home. Confusing morality here....but I just can't see this as a simple black or white morality issue.

In spite of living in a group situation, life is so lonely for nursing home residents and there is so little affectionate touch. How lovely that Mort and Frances could benefit from a warm, caring relationship while living in the nursing home.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sealed by the Holy Spirit

I often cry at baptisms. The promises that parents and sponsors make, the promises that God makes through baptism and the promises of the long life ahead for the baby all push my sentimental "buttons".

Today we had an adult baptism. I cried. The tears today weren't sentimental, however. They were a new realization of what baptism truly means.

A fifty-ish couple began attending our church during the summer. I sat next to them a couple of times and they were quite friendly and that the man tenderly doted on his wife. I noticed that the man took communion but his wife did not. I also noticed that the woman's physical condition was obviously changing from week to week: from somewhat unsteady on her feet, to firmly holding on to her husband, to today using a wheelchair.

Today the woman was baptized and her husband affirmed his baptism. Three pews were filled with proud relatives and friends. Grandchildren watched their Grandma receive the sacrament. Photographs were taken. Two members of the congregation served as her sponsors. Following the baptism the woman was wheeled to the center aisle where she positively beamed and said, "Thank you" over and over again. Later in the service she communed for the first time.

I do not know any details of the woman's health situation, but her spirit was aglow today. She has been "sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever" and she knows and understands that. She smiled, we smiled, and I know God smiled, too!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Just Had to Get It Off My Chest

Seen in the last twenty-four hours.

Street Sign in Glenview: Schools Open
What did the schools open? Maybe now that SCHOOL'S open, someone will be able to write the rest of the sentence on the sign.

Local Newspaper Article: The talented young musicians visited their maternal family in Columbia. While in Columbia they..... When they left Columbia.....
Where is Columbia? Never heard of such a country. There is, however, a country called Colombia in NW South America. Maybe these talented musicians from the fictional Columbia should visit COLOMBIA some day. Wonder if schools open there?

Message on a listserv I read: X is so much better then Y.
Then is Y better also? Other THAN being a grammatically incorrect sentence, I'm actually of the opinion that Y is better THAN X.

So this afternoon, maybe I'll go to Glenview where schools open and sit in on a Spanish class where I'll learn that Columbia is farther north then Argentina.

Or maybe the Spanish class will actually be conducted in Spanish and I'll hear "Las escuelas ESTÁN abiertas y COLOMBIA está más al norte QUE la Argentina." Maybe then some of the above grammatical pain will go away. Ouch, ouch, ouch!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Need to Laugh!

A snippet from my niece Nancy's blog today is the following, "I was getting dressed, while both boys were playing in the adjoining bathroom. I hear Owen say, "Joel! Enough with the tampons! Put them away." I read it and, alone at my kitchen table, I laughed aloud.

Nancy is the mom of two boys, ages three and one. Most everything she writes about the boys touches me because I've been there. While she gets understandably frustrated with their shenanigans, I have the luxury of idealized memory of those exhausting mothering years and often find myself laughing aloud at her story while remembering a similar event from 25 years ago. Nancy probably gets tired of my "Yeah, I remember when David or Kevin did the same thing." comments!

What I realized today, is that, aside from Nancy's blog, "House", and good times with girlfriends, I don't have too many opportunities to laugh aloud on a typical day. What I do have is a lot of absurdity. For example:

1. My mother's table mates, Molly and Sally, have been feuding. Yesterday Sally accidentally hit Molly's leg with the leg support of her wheelchair. Molly, who has the sweetest disposition in the world, yelled "Don't do that." Sally was so angry at being rebuked that she literally took her plate and sat at a different table. My mother was distressed that she was dragged into this spat because each woman wanted Mom on her side of the dispute. So today I asked Mom if Sally and Molly were still angry. Mom replied that she had asked Molly this morning if things were OK with Sally and was asked, "Why do you ask. Was there a problem?"

8th grade boys and toddler boys have the same reaction: yell and scream about an issue and then completely forget it occurred. Not a bad way to live!

2. Mom mentioned that they had french toast for breakfast today. I retorted with the classic family line, "Did you have toast with your french toast?" and she looked at me like I was crazy. Many, many years ago on a family trip to Florida we had an incredibly incompetent waitress who messed up an entire simple breakfast order but is most remembered for asking, "Do you want toast with your french toast?" I can't believe Mom forgot a classic family story! I wonder if she also forgot that, on that same trip, I bopped my brother on the head with "Blup Blup", a turquoise and yellow stuffed dog with a very hard music box buried inside the "fur", and Ed proceeded to vomit for several hours? That was probably the same trip during which we collected some pretty shells, put them in a bag on the back shelf of the car, and then had to live with the odor of baked dead snails all the way home. Ah, the absurdities of youth that we remember and cherish!

3. I gave blood today. Actually I gave platelets, a process that takes close to three hours. While my left arm was tied down, I attempted to read an actual serious book in my right hand. Unfortunately, there was a TV right in my line of sight. Although I couldn't hear it, my eyes kept being drawn to.......yes!.....the Maury Povich show. It was a "Back to School" show that featured attractive women gyrating in cheerleader outfits. The premise was, "Is the cheerleader really male or female?" I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! Each woman came out, did her little dance, then Maury asked audience members what gender each "woman" was, then the sex was revealed......over and over again! The updated "score" flashed before every commercial break.

I've been fussing over the (in my opinion) stupidity of people who objected to the president telling kids to work hard in school or who think that Obama was born in Kenya or who think that the proposed health plan is going to have death squads to kill off Grandma. Maybe I'm wrong to brand those folks as "wrong". Based on my daytime TV watching today, I may have to change my view. Having an opinion--even a wrong one :-)-- about a political issue is way, way superior to predicting a cheerleader's sex.

So, I don't have many "laugh-out-louds" but I sure have lots of "If it weren't so sad, it would be funnys".