I Need Gene Therapy

What is gone:
3 brown-spotted, half filled jars of apple sauce
a greenish jar of salsa
a blueish/blackish hunk of cheese
two pints of squishy, brownish strawberries
a bag of soggy, puke green lettuce
a baggie containing some reddish glop that looks like something found by a CSI pathologist

What remains:
very old, but still OK, beets which are currently in boiling water
24-count them- 24 little plastic containers of peaches
37-count them-37 containers of yogurt
an assortment of pickles, bright green lettuce, yellow cheese, and ONE jar of tannish apple
sauce
pink ground beef for tonight's meat loaf

Yes, you guessed it, I cleaned out the refrigerator....and I'm mortified. Embarrassed by the huge amount of food I tossed out and by the over-abundance of peaches and yogurt--although they WERE on big sale two weeks in a row!

When the kids were little and I was working full time, the refrigerator got cleaned out once a year during the summer. Once a year during the summer my closet got organized. Once a year during the summer I found how many tubes of toothpaste and packages of floss I had stock-piled during the year.

Now those tasks are getting done at least twice a year! But everything is just as big a mess as it was when organizing happened less often....and there's only two of us living in the house. What's wrong with this picture?

I think it's due to my lack of the cleaning gene. I confess to having kept the cleaning lady twice a month after I retired, so at least one week of every two, the house is clean. (Some of you may not know that I went back to work so that I could have a cleaning lady - no lie!) Ken picks up the slack and shines the floors and bathroom should we have company on a non-cleaning lady week.

I'm also missing the organizing gene. Why go searching through the refrigerator to see if there is applesauce when it's so easy to just pick up another jar? Why organize my basket of greeting cards when it is so much fun to spend 15 minutes going through 50 cards to find the one sympathy card I know is in there?

In reality, there is hope. My closet is actually in order, as is the bathroom closet, but it's mighty hard to keep up with all the places that need help. My niece reports that her mom, my sister-in-law Judy, regularly organizes her drawers and cabinets when she visits. If I fly you in, Judy, can you work your magic at our house, too? You've got the right genes!

I Love 20-somethings

I loved it when my kids were two years old. As much as I loved them in their infancy, I REALLY loved it when they started to speak and I found out what was in their heads.

Two, however, has nothing on the 20's!

This fact hit me in the face today when I was tutoring Laney. Laney has been a neighbor her entire life. I tutored her in Spanish during high school. Now at a Chicago area college, she again needs some assistance and so we planned to meet for an hour this morning. Well, two and a half hours later we were finished. What I realized after this marathon, however, was that I was smiling and invigorated. Laney is very gregarious and tells me all sorts of details about her life and, rather than getting irritated at Laney for not staying "on task", I just love it!

Today's "Laney revelation" reminded me of all the "20 somethings" in my life - mostly people I've known their entire lives - with whom I can now share a totally new and different type of relationship. Not only are the relationships different, I get to witness the marvelous transformation of these special people over their lifetimes so far.

Obviously, there's David and Kevin. Actually "David" has transformed to "Dave" to most folks, but I'm blown away by what the people I still sometimes think of as "Davey" and "Kevie" have become. Obviously I'm proud of their achievements, but I'm so blown away by WHO they are. I love the way they show their love for the women in their lives. I love their consideration of others, their work ethic, their care for the world, their respect for all sorts of other human beings, their fairness, and their curiosity...among other things. Best of all, for me, is that - removed from the daily nagging about homework, bed time, etc - we can actually talk about stuff they care about, adult to adult. And I love that they share "what's in their head" much more articulately than when they were two!

Then there are the women who love them. What more can a mother ask than for another woman to love her son! I just love sharing "teacher talk" with Lisa. I love discussing books with her. I love it when she talks about David's quirks. I love talking with Jennifer about cooking...mostly because she is so much more talented than I in that area! I love hearing about her animals and enjoy her quirky sense of humor about naming them. I love the way she shows that she likes being around us. Lisa and Jennifer are the only folks in today's blog that I haven't known all their lives, but I feel like I have. I'm not their moms, but neither am I "Mrs. Kosnik". I'm "Alice" to them and we are friends---and I love that.

Then there's Nancy and Tom, my niece and nephew. Separated by geography, I didn't see them with great regularity as they were growing up. Living thousands of miles away from each other, I wasn't always tuned in to the minutia of the growing up years. As adults, however, it's a true joy to become their friend - not just the aunt. None of us are great with phone calls, but blogging has helped us see into each other's souls...and it's exciting. Reading Tom's poetry is mind-boggling! How can the "kid" who once accidentally brought baby mice to school in his shoe now write poetry that can bring me to tears? I once also cried with a newly pregnant Nancy, sitting in her kitchen 3+ years ago joyfully anticipating what motherhood would bring her. Now she shares her daily experiences with two sons and regularly helps me relive the joys and frustrations of mothering two boys under three. I'm excited that next week Ken and I will be in Seattle with Tom and so appreciative of the adult relationship I can now have with both Tom and Nancy.

Margaret and Andy have been part of our "family" forever. They have morphed from the babies that I've babysat, to the toddlers who put on "plays" with David and Kevin, to the awkwardness of being my students "Cristina" and "Andrés" in 8th grade, to being tolerated as their parents' friends in high school, to now being their friends. What fun it is to talk with them about their hopes and dreams, and to hear the stories of their adventures. I'm now "Alice" with them, too and I love it!

Then there's Kerry, Randy , Eric and a legion of other "20 somethings". Again, more joy in knowing what wonderful contributions they are all making to the world and what joy that they are now "my friends".

Thank you to all of you for keeping me young (in spirt, anyway), for letting me be in your lives as a friend, and for making me so very proud of all of you!

Runner-up

The Civic Orchestra percussion auditions were Monday. Kevin was a runner-up at last year's auditions but became a full-time orchestra member when another percussionist got a "real" job and left. It has been an absolutely marvelous experience for him! He has a place to practice at Symphony Center, he has worked with world class conductors, he has learned a great deal through his work with "Musicorps" presenting percussion programs in schools, and he has gotten other "gigs" through his affiliation with Civic. Not the least of the benefits has been the opportunity to live in the same city as Jennifer! He REALLY hoped to be in Civic another year - but had to re-audition.

Kevin was first runner up. Again.

Kevin had a similar experience with graduate school. He had a terrible May 1, 2006 - during senior year at NU. He didn't get into any of the three grad programs he wanted. Julliard didn't take any new students and New England and Manhattan wait listed him. About a month later both schools contacted him on the same day and offered him a position. He chose NEC and had a wonderful experience working with the perfect teacher. It worked out perfectly!

So, given three experiences with being first runner up, the first two of which worked out in the best possible way, we have to be confident that this experience will also work out for the best. I have to leave that in God's hands - which is hard - but He has certainly surprised our entire family over and over again with incredible opportunities, and I have no reason to doubt that He will stop.

What makes me very proud is how Kevin deals with these set-backs. Sure, he is very disappointed but, when I talked with him last night, he was on his way to a rehearsal for a "gig" in Evanston this weekend, was excited about another "gig" he will have playing with the New World Symphony in Miami next month, and talked of preparing for up-coming auditions for "real" orchestras.

Kevin spends a tremendous amount of time alone in a practice room, going over and over musical phrases. EVERY DAY he spends a couple of HOURS just "warming up" before beginning work on new music. It takes unbelievable discipline and passion. Ken and I are extremely proud of him - not just when we see him onstage, but especially when he deals with a set-back by practicing yet more.

Obviously Kevin is the musician that we love and are proud of.....but all musicians out there are doing the same thing in order to share their musical gifts with the rest of us. 46 percussionists tried out for the Civic percussion openings, 44 didn't make it, but 46 sets of parents must be plenty proud of their children for their determination and hard, hard, work.

Random Thoughts About Numbers

Tonight the President is going to talk to us about numbers - serious numbers relating to our current economic crisis - and that led me to being aware of numbers in other aspects of my life today.

1. I got an e-mail from BER today. They are cutting back the number of days each foreign language presenter will work next year due to huge cutbacks in school districts' budgets. I was scheduled for 25 days, now will have 20. They are not going to any city next year that didn't have a high enough number of participants this winter....and they simply ran out of cities! Bummer! (Being an eternal optimist, maybe Ken and I can take the cancelled January work week and go somewhere warm! Numbers in the 80's sound much more pleasant than numbers in the 10's)

2. Then BER sent me my numbers for next week's seminars and I had to count out my handouts for those groups: how many business cards, how many puzzles, etc. I even counted out the little candies I use for "prizes" - don't want to carry 100 candies if I only need 50!

3. Because, after all, the airlines depend on numbers: no more than 50 pounds per bag, no more liquid items than will fit in a quart size baggie, no liquid more than 3 oz.---and don't forget the $15 charge for each checked bag.

4. Friday is "auction day" at Rosewood. The residents get "money" each time they participate in any activity and they get lots more "money" when they win a game. Mom has LOTS of money this month - in part because friend Barbara who moved gave Mom all her "money". One of Mom's disabilities is that she can't manipulate numbers any more, so today I counted her cash in preparation for Friday's big event. She has $36,000....and there's still two days to go! She should be able to buy quite a number of valuable items at the auction!

5. On my way home from Rosewood I stopped at the cleaners to pick up two pairs of pants that had been shortened. I'm 5'7" tall and have been the same height since 8th grade. It is on the tall side of average. For most of my life I had a hard time finding pants that were long enough for me. Recently, I always have to have pants shortened. There are probably a number of reasons for this change. Most of our clothing is made in other countries where the metric system is used. Am I shorter in centimeters? The U.S. tailors have formed a lobbying group that is bribing the clothing manufacturers to make longer pants so that they get all the lucrative shortening work? Even though the ERA has not passed, the government is guaranteeing that average height women must put up with all the annoyances that petite and tall women have always faced? Is it a plot???

6. The number 40 starts tomorrow - 40 days of Lent. How can that happen when my pointsettia is still blooming beautifully?

7. I also made an ATM stop today. What would my father think about going to a machine, putting in a number code and magically getting money? What about hitting the numbers 5/3 on my computer (the strange name of our bank), entering yet another number series to access my account, then entering more numbers to magically pay our bills. When he was a young man, my dad would take his check to the bank on his lunch hour and get it all in cash, then pay his bills in person and in cash!

8. When I came home, I read our new congregational "profile" in anticipation of the first Call Committee meeting on Thursday. The last 20 pages or so were full of numbers giving data on the four communities that represent most of our members. Can a prospective Pastor get any idea of who we are from a listing of house prices, dollars spent per child in the schools, number of miles people drive to work, or percentage of Republicans and Democrats? Someone must think so.

9. Then, of course, are all the numbers that I have forgotten. Good thing I just have to push 2 on the cell phone to find out when Ken will be home tonight! A few numbers have gotten easier!

We're So Nosy!

A high school girl in a neighboring town disappeared Friday afternoon while running with her track team. Many citizens spent Saturday searching through wooded areas searching for this young woman. Saturday evening the girl showed up at her home.....and there the story ends......and that is driving people crazy! Yes, people are very happy that she is safe at home and, yes, they respect the family's right to privacy in what is surely a difficult situation. But, oh, we are soooooooooo nosy! What happened???????????

My mother's friend Barbara recently moved from Rosewood to another nursing home. Barbara told people when she was moving, but didn't tell anyone why ........and that is driving my mother crazy! How could she not share the juicy details?

My friend Gail visits the sick as part of her job at the church. Some folks don't want information about their illnesses to be shared. Gail is great at keeping those confidences.....and it drives me crazy! Of course, I respect people's privacy....but I'm soooooo nosy.

Why do we care so much about things that really are other people's business?

I don't know, but maybe I'll feel less confused if I take a walk to the convenience store for a People or Star magazine and look in all the neighbors' windows as I walk by :-)

About 20 years ago I was the lay leader of our congregation. It was a time of great rancor. We were building a big addition and asking for money for same. Rewriting the church constitution - by definition of one of the most brain-numbing activities in the world - turned into a huge brou-ha-ha over church finances and leadership. Although Council meetings and annual congregational meetings had clear agendas, they were usually hijacked by a few difficult individuals who had personal axes to grind. My stomach cramped in anticipation of each meeting.

We got through those years. Difficult people moved on. Our beautiful addition was completed. Gradually, with occasional relapses, our congregation started working as it should. This doesn't mean there haven't been differences of opinion and difficult issues, but for the most part, they have been dealt with appropriately.

Fast forward to today. This morning was our annual congregational meeting and it was remarkable. After all the turmoil related to calling and then losing a wonderful pastor, the meeting was calm, optimistic, and laced with laughter. Present slate of candidates, vote, elect. Present budget, discuss briefly, vote, pass. Explain proposed constitutional changes (yes, once again!), discuss, approve. Thank out-going president, welcome new one. Open meeting for discussion, listen to one person's articulate and polite criticism, hear a polite counter-opinion, continue respectful dialogue over coffee. Wow!

Parents and teachers are told repeatedly that modeling appropriate behavior is critical for the development of children. It has been critical at Ascension this year also. What could have been an explosive, divisive, ugly year has, instead, resulted in calm, optimistic people who are confidently waiting to find out what growth God is going to make possible in this new year.

That modeling has come from many people, but particularly from Chris - the outgoing president. Throughout all the crises, he has remained faithful, calm, supportive, and optimistic. Most importantly, he is a man without ego issues. What a change from the ego-driven axe grinders of twenty years ago! Thank you, Chris....and may we all learn from you!

A "Cutting Edge" Blog Entry

Two e-mails arrived yesterday which led me to computer research this afternoon. The first was from BER and it was the routine yearly request to update my brochures. What caught my eye was the suggestion that I might want to consider updating to "reflect current cutting-edge, state of the art best practices ".

The second e-mail was from a young teacher who had attended my recent Chicago area seminar. She had been to a faculty meeting at her middle school where they discussed an article titled A Prescription for Success. She wanted my opinion on a number of "best practices" and "research based techniques" that she feels she is now being expected to follow. I felt really stupid since I had never heard of ANY of these. Upon researching, I discovered they were all techniques for teaching struggling readers that have absolutely no relation to teaching beginning foreign language students. I reassured her (I hope) that she is doing the right things in her classes and gave her some ways to explain foreign language "best practices" to her administrators.

No Child Left Behind has created a need for Response to Intervention programs which use such gobbidy gook techniques as Reciprocal Teach, Anticipation Guides and Expert Driven Instruction. After more than 30 years in the education business, I just roll my eyes at each "new", "research based" educational panacea. Somewhere back in the 70's when the "Open Classroom" and "Individualized Instruction" were the "new" ideas, I realized that "this too shall pass.".

Of course, my teaching changed significantly from 1966 to 2006, but the changes were primarily external---no more purple dittoes and filmstrip projectors! Today the people who make a living by inventing such miracles as "Reciprocal Teach" are actually just tweaking the common sense ideas that I learned from my supervisor in the 1960's. It's a shame that newer teachers in our test driven environment have to kow-tow to whatever new technique is in vogue.

And it's a shame I'm going to have to use some "educ speak" in my brochure revisions. It sure would be easier and more truthful to tell them that I'm simply going to "show them some really cool ideas for foreign language teaching".

Weird Coincidences

I had coffee with my friend Chris today. We have much in common: she's a retired teacher, her daughter and David "grew up" together at Ascension, and we share all sorts of "musical" connections. The commonality that brings us together for coffee is, however, our mothers.

Jane and Mildred also have much in common: they were in church groups together, have similar backgrounds and families, and about 16 months ago ended up as roommates at Glenbrook Hospital! Both Jane and Mildred had pretty severe health crises at that time, both have had ups and downs during the past 16 months, both are now living in nursing home environments, and both are currently doing pretty well.

Chris and I started getting together last year to help each other cope with the various physical and emotional crises our mothers (and we) faced last year. We survived those crises and now mostly laugh about the coincidences that continue to occur.

The following are today's stories.

1. Chris told me that Jane called her, terribly worried about Chris' son-in-law after the tragic plane crash in Buffalo. Chris' daughter and son-in-law live in western Massachusetts. I then told Chris that Mildred had been very worried about David when the jet landed in the Hudson River. David was in D.C. at the time. Mother worry score: A. Geography score: F

2. Jane often feels that staff members are talking about her. Mildred often complains that the CNAs are talking about her when they speak Spanish in her presence. When I hear this, of course, I tell her that the CNAs are talking about their weekend plans. Eavesdropping Score: F

3. The staff at both nursing homes "steal" their clothing. Observation Score: B
Patience Score: D

Alice's and Chris' abilities to tell an original story: D-

Since my three "subscribers" to this blog are all younger relatives, I guess today's message is advice. Remember that whatever weird things your parents do or say when they get old are probably being done or said by everyone else' elderly parents. Then find a friend to have coffee with and share your stories. You'll feel much better for it.

Of course, you may already be telling your friends about your weird parents...and we're not even old yet :-)

Liar, Liar

Those of you who have been following Illinois politics know that we are very proud to have Obama in the White House and very embarrassed by the mess that resulted from his vacant Senate seat. In short, for anyone who has been out of the country since December, our former governor has been impeached for trying to sell Obama's Senate seat and other egregious acts and lies. Before being booted out of Springfield, former governor Blagojevich appointed Roland Burris to the Senate.

Apart from a few ego problems--- naming his children Roland and Rolanda and erecting a huge mausoleum to make sure his various accomplishments are never forgotten come to mind--people were cautiously optimisitic that Burris would be an unexciting but decent Senator.

Today his story is unraveling. Seems that Burris, in spite of assertions to the contrary during his "vetting", is now admitting that he did have conversations with Blagojevich's people and was asked to make campaign donations prior to his Senate appointment. No one is saying (yet) that any bribes were paid, but we are clearly dealing with big lies.

Then there are the small lies. Last night while preparing for dinner at the soup kitchen, my friend Irm (a former teacher) and I witnessed a mom and ten-year-old daughter working on the daughter's math homework while they waited. Irm suddenly shouted in horror, "She's using a calculator!" The real horror, however, came 15 minutes later when I realized that the daughter was now playing with another child while Mom was finishing the math homework--actually writing down the answers! Fortunately for Irm's mental health, she didn't see the latter abomination and I didn't tell her.

This morning at a crack-of-dawn breakfast with still-teaching friends, I related the above incident. Courtney, not to be outdone, told of the mom who called and--no lie---complained "Why did I (I mean Susie) get a B on the paper?"

On a foreign language chat site, AP teachers are trying to figure out ways to thwart students who get translations of novels on line. Meanwhile 1st and 2nd level foreign language teachers are amazed at the linguistic horrors that are turned in by students using electronic translators. They are especially amazed that the students think they can get away with the totally absurdities of the translations.

So, lies and cheating are everywhere. Clearly the above examples are wrong but what about all those things we say all the time: "Sure, no problem." "I'd love to come." "Thank you for the gift. I love it." "I'd love to stay but....."

Interesting that none of the 10 commandments directly says "Thou Shalt Not Lie". I'll have to ask a learned Jewish friend if lying is specified in any of the other 613 Old Testament laws. Maybe God didn't mention lying as an absolute "Thou Shalt Not" because it is such a slippery concept.

But for now, I'll put aside philosophical issues and make it look like I've been doing useful household tasks. Wouldn't want Ken to think I've wiled away an hour posting a blog, would I? Oops, I guess that's lying, huh?

Tangled Webs

Whenever I travel I carefully place my cell recharger in a special spot. When I go to charge the phone, it is a total tangled mess.

I just took down the outside Christmas lights. (I know it's only February 17, but we HAVE had a lot of snow!) Now, Ken is considerably taller than I, but I know he didn't stand on a ladder and deliberately tie the lights in knots at the top of our little Crabapple tree.

Then there's the multitude of cords I carry in my computer bag when I do a presentation. I spend ten minutes every morning untangling them, just to repeat the process the next day.

I don't know what gremlin is in charge of tangling up all those wires and cords, but it makes me think of all the tangles in our lives. Life is not simple or direct. Sometimes we get all tangled up with interrelationships and knotty situations. Those tangles, however, are often the most interesting experiences we have.

How boring it would be if our real trees were as simple as the four branched ones we drew in first grade! I would, however, have fewer scratches on my hands right now if the Gremlin hadn't tangled quite so many lights around quite so many branches!

Central Kansas Hates Me!

I just received an e-mail from BER telling me that my seminar in Wichita has been cancelled because only one person had signed up for it! Why do they hate me in Kansas? Actually Kansas City liked me a lot last November, so it must just be the western part of the state that hates me.

Now I know that they don't really hate me in Kansas. BER is feeling the effect of the economy just like everyone else and it's also very possible that there is something else preventing teachers from attending a seminar on March 2

Actually, March 2 is Casimir Pulaski day which is, in fact, a holiday for Illinois school children! Pulaski was a Polish hero in our Revolutionary War. Evidently his descendants in Illinois were not content with his name being immortalized on one of Chicago's longest streets and demanded a holiday of their own. Wonder if there are lots of Polish Kansans? But I digress....

One of the reasons BER is known for quality seminars is that the instructors are evaluated EVERY SINGLE TIME they present. Participants grade us on "content of the seminar" and "contribution of the presenter". We have to get 6.5 out of 7 on both. If a presenter gets a 6.4 average, there is conversation with his/her supervisor. If there are several days of 6.4s, the presenter may be asked to move on.

Participants also write comments. I really agonize over these even though the negative comments often make no sense. "I was looking for new technology" (not one mention of technology in the brochure). "Curriculum Compacting is NOT Differentiated Instruction" (in spite of my learning about it in several books on differentiated instruction). "I wanted more theory" which came right after "I'm glad it was practical.". Some Latin teachers complain that the seminar stresses conversation too much (The title of the seminar is "Active Conversation"). Then there are the German teachers who complain about student made samples in Spanish and French, even though all examples and directions are in English. Interestingly, Italian, Arabic, Navajo, American Sign Language, Chinese and Japanese teachers have NEVER complained. Why do I agonize over such silliness?

Because I'm being graded, that's why! Yes, I was observed throughout my public school teaching career but never had every student write a comment every day. I'm sure I'll continue to grab the evaluation sheets from my "program manager" as soon as we get in a taxi after a seminar and I'll not breathe comfortably until I've finished reading them. I hope, however, that I'll get better at forgetting the weird comments. I know I'll be a lot more generous whenever I'm in the position of writing an evaluation!

Is this posting at least at 6.5???????

Technology Makes Our Lives Simpler - NOT

For Christmas, 2007 Ken gave me an old plate - his way of saying that we would get dish TV. Finally in November we ordered DVR and upgraded wireless service from AT+T. Our scheduled installation day was last Tuesday.

The installer came at 8:00 and didn't finish until 3:30. We were quite impressed by his thoroughness, but neither of us was home to watch TV that evening. When Ken got home about 10:00 he sat down to try out our system....but couldn't get anything but the AT+T symbol on the screen. After getting the sleepy language person (me) out of bed to help the wide awake computer analyst (Ken), all that remained on the screen was that AT+T symbol. After an hour long phone call to tech support and much button pushing, it was determined that it was AT+T's local problem and would be fixed by morning. By then, the computer analyst was sleepy and went to bed.

Next morning we still only have the AT+T symbol, but there is a guy with a tool belt walking down our driveway. He had just done some additional installation work outside, but we convinced him to come in and figure out what was going on. After yet more button pushing, we discover that the really thorough installer had not connected two big cables in the basement. Voila! We had service (although it took an additional hour of hanging around with this guy--in my nightgown and robe, no less--while he pushed yet more buttons).

BUT THEN, I had to spend a couple of hours that afternoon figuring out how to record the various series shows that we like to watch.

BUT THEN, I decided to start this blog and had to figure out how to do that.

BUT THEN, I used "Stella", our Garmin Nuvi, who was this year's Christmas present to each other, to get to Sharie's house yesterday. Actually the technology for using "Stella" isn't too complicated, but I sure have trouble getting the unit to stick to the windshield.

BUT THEN, I hadn't read my e-mail for a while and found about 85 messages. A few weeks ago, I thought it would be a good idea professionally to join two listservs that are forums for foreign language teachers. I should have known that everytime one person posts a question or comment, at least 25 others have to respond....and they all come to my inbox.

AND THEN, I'm going to attempt to add a picture from the Potty Party to this blog. Let's see if I can handle that!
















No wonder I don't have time to work those other machines.....washers, dryers, vacuums,.........

Connections - Part 2

Ken and I have never really been "into" Valentine's Day. It falls just a week after my birthday and flowers Ken gave me for my birthday are still blooming, so we exchange romantic cards and that's about it. When the kids were little I'd try to make pink heart shaped pancakes. I understand they make molds for such culinary treats today, but mine were free-hand and they were pretty pathetic!

This Valentine's Day, however, is full of many different kinds of love.

1. Yesterday I was chatting with my mother in the lobby at Rosewood. Nearby sat another woman reading a Valentine that clearly said "To Mother". She read the card, put it away, took it out and re-read it, put it away, and again took it out and re-read it........over and over again. I'm sure her children don't have a clue how immensely important that card and its message of love is to their mom.

2. On my mom's bed today is a very large white stuffed bear with a red heart saying "Be My Valentine". A gift from her family? Sadly, no. A gift from the housekeeper with whom she and I connected on Thursday? Yes! I'm awestruck by this act of love!

3. I spent this afternoon at friend Sharie's "Potty Party". Sharie organized this event so we could all rejoice over the new bathroom which replaced a pantry closet in her home. All 14 of us duly inspected the new room and pronounced it wonderful. The real reason for the party, however, was to celebrate friendship. The majority of the alliterative potty party participants became friends in the late 60's when we were young Spanish teachers in Des Plaines School District 62. Over the years, teachers in other disciplines were deemed "our kind of people" and joined our informal group. We have shared each other's lives for over 40 years - yikes! Eleven years ago, at a breakfast to celebrate the 50th birthday of our youngest member, we decided that we needed to formalize our group a bit, named ourselves "Club 62", and began monthly Saturday morning breakfast meetings. How important are these breakfasts? Well, our only out-of-state member, Bonnie, regularly drives in from Michigan just for breakfast! That's special girl-friends love!

4. Tonight Ken and I are celebrating our friend Jill's birthday with Gail and Charlie. They are friends for "ONLY" 27 years. Our children grew up together and we've been there for each other during good and not-so-good times. We know each other's "real" families, but these friends are as close to "real" family as any friend could be. What a privilege to share non-family family love!

So, Ken and I are not dining tonight at Spiaggia with the Obamas, but I am truly thankful for this Valentine's Day and the opportunities it has presented to share so many forms of love.

Kiss It and Make It Better

Yesterday I ran into Ruth, a friend with whom I served on our church's call committee. We had worked together for a year and a half and eventually found the absolutely perfect candidate for our new Pastor. The only wrinkle was that he is gay. (The ELCA's position--an awkward one that really makes no one happy --is that a gay person can serve as a pastor as long as he/she is celibate.) After much prayer and deliberation we presented Pastor Patrick to the congregation last May. As you would imagine, the congregation reacted in a variety of ways - everything from jubilant joy to walking out the door. Eventually the congregation voted to call Pastor Patrick and we had six months of wonderful pastoral leadership. Many of those who expressed concerns about calling a gay pastor came to love Pastor Patrick and joy returned to our worship. We all heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Just before Christmas, an event--unforeseeable to both Pastor and us--occurred. The sad result was that Pastor Patrick resigned. Once again our Call Committee has been called into action.

Ruth and I talked about how how God has used the experiences of the past year for all kinds of spiritual growth in our congregation. Ruth quoted a friend who believes that "faith is looking at the past." As we look at our congregational past, we DO see how God has used all things for good. We are confident that things will work out as we begin a pastoral search once again. But, from this point in time, it's sure hard to see a clear path ahead.

That conversation stayed in my head last night as I thought about Kevin. He is in the midst of auditions again - summer programs, Civic Orchestra for next year, and positions in professional orchestras. All I want to do is "kiss it and make it better" -- somehow for Kevin to know that he will achieve his career goals. Although it seemed hard at the time, from today's perspective it was easy to kiss away Kevin's "owies" when he was little. But now, we can't see the clear path ahead and I can't "kiss it and make it better".

Patience isn't my strong suit....but how can I deny that the God who directed me on a professional path that I could never have forseen, who brought Ken into my life at age 32 when I had about given up on being a wife, who then brought two wonderful sons into my life when it wasn't easy, is not going to continue to surprise us? In spite of that wonderful history, it's still hard to have "faith looking at the past".

As my mother's old refrigerator magnet said, "God grant me patience...and I want it right now!"

Our Stories

When I arrived at Rosewood Care Center this morning, my mother was sitting in the hall saying goodbye to the housekeeper. As I turned the corner, Mom shouted "She's here! She's here!" and the housekeeper said to me, "Ah, Ud. es la profesora". Next thing you know, she and I are chatting about her home town in Mexico.

In Mom's room a few minutes later, my task was to label her displayed family pictures in Spanish: "mi hija Alice con mi nieto Kevin", "Owen, el hijo de mi nieta", "Lisa, la esposa de mi nieto David con su ahijado Joel" and so forth. Mom wanted the Spanish speaking CNAs to understand her relationships to all these people. She is, in effect, shouting, "These are people I love and who love me."

Shortly afterwards, two CNAs enter to take vitals. Reading the sticky-note signs, they say to me, "Oh, you speak Spanish?" and I get to ask them how to say "great-grandson" en español. Another bond is made. Also I can now correct my awkward "the son of my granddaughter" description. (For those interested, it is "bisnieto".)

I didn't see Juan today, but Juan's face always lights up when he sees me. We have a bond. too. He's from Guanajuato and he knows I've been to his hometown. He also knows that he can complain about Mom's roommate to me in Spanish and get away with it.

Small stuff - but we all need so desperately to form those bonds, to not be anonymous. We need others to know our story.

The Russian residents huddle together speaking Russian. On her xenophobic days, Mom will complain about those "foreigners" and their Russian TV channel - but I tell her that they, too, need to tell their stories. Fortunately, Rosewood provides a Russian speaking nurse and social worker. Those residents are not anonymous.

Down the hall is an Iranian man. He speaks Persian. No one else in the building speaks Persian and he lives for the weekly visit by relatives. How sad.

I have been greatly blessed by a multitude of people who know my story and have shared their stories. If I ever need to move to a place where no one knows my story, I hope there will be people similar to the Rosewood staff who will ask me about my labeled family pictures--and, meanwhile, I hope I can become yet more open to hearing other's stories.

Welcome to the 21st century

As my niece recently wrote in her blog, I, too, am trying to figure out what I will do when I grow up. As a "retired" teacher, my life is a jumble of contradictory experiences. One day I am the "presenter" at a seminar for the Bureau of Education and Research. Teachers consider me the "expert" on foreign language teaching--but I'm awed by the teaching talent I see in them. The next day I am helping my mom deal with the latest indignity of living at a nursing home--and I'm humbled by the grace I see in the people who live and work there. I'm a cheerleader for the lives of my husband, sons, and the special women in their lives, but I'm sometimes saddened by my inability to "kiss it and make it better" when they hit a rough patch. Soup kitchen server, bell-ringer , book group reader, water exerciser, and - I confess - computer Scrabble addict are other retirement "roles". I hope to use this blog to share the things I learn from all these experiences as I continue to "grow up".