Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Miscellanea

My niece writes Friday Fragments, but I can't steal that title since today is Monday. Miscellanea will have to do.

A MOM NEVER STOPS FEELING GUILTY NOR PROUD

Guilty: Today David defended his Master's thesis and invited us to witness his presentation. I was unable to attend, David said that was not a problem, but I felt guilty nonetheless.

Proud: Today David defended his Master's thesis! According to Ken, he did himself very proud, speaking articulately about his research for an hour and a half.

Who knew that all the searching for Goldbug in Richard Scarry's, "Cars and Trucks and Things that Go" would someday lead to an advanced degree in Civil Engineering!

COMPARISONS

I didn't go to David's thesis defense because I attended a foreign language seminar given by another presenter from the same company I represent. I wanted to sit in a participant's chair and observe the day from that point of view, hoping to get some new insights on both content and presentation. I walked away with a few of both...but mostly walked away feeling very good about my presentations and all the preparation time I've spent tweaking hundreds of details. That was a good feeling.

The bad feeling was that this presenter had a HUGE audience....164 people! I know it is because her topic directly relates to one of the major "No Child Left Behind" goals, meaning that administrators would be eager to send teachers to this event. Nonetheless, I know I'll feel let down if/when my numbers are the usual 40-50 when I go out later in the month. Too bad they don't pay us based on our evaluation scores rather than on how many people attend!

SMALL WORLD

When I arrived at the seminar this morning, I put my things on a table and went to the washroom. When I returned, I found my god-daughter sitting in the next chair! With 164 people in the room, it's possible that Liz and I would not have even known the other was present. Instead, she and her colleagues just happened to sit at my table and she was my "partner" for all the paired activities we did during the day.

I take no credit for Liz becoming a Spanish teacher, but relish the fact that she is a very gifted educator. Liz is the daughter of dear friends who have been in my life for over 50 years. When she and her sister were very young, her parents left them with me for a weekend while they enjoyed a brief get-away. At the time Ken and I had been dating for just a short time and I was overjoyed that he was totally open to entertaining two little girls during that weekend.

Ken, incidentally, says he married me for my furniture and my sense of humor. The two things that convinced me that Ken was "the one" were his willingness to spend a weekend at the playground with toddler Liz and her sister and his volunteering to help me wallpaper my bedroom. Pretty darn good reasons in retrospect!

As part of our "partner activities" today, Liz and I did a little reading to each other. Now colleagues, I was remembering reading picture books to Liz over 30 years ago. She's now a mom of one and told me today that child number two is on the way.

Clichés are clichés because they are so totally true. As I witness David, Kevin, Liz and many other young adults I've known since infancy, I'm just amazed and delighted at the wonderful adults they have become. I'm bombarded with clichés such as "Time Marches On" and "Apples Don't Fall Far From Trees", but they are great clichés!

EATING MY WORDS

On a totally different topic, I did something last week that I have often mocked others for doing. I got up at 5:15 last Friday to go shopping at Carsons!

Now, it wasn't my fault.

My brother and sister-in-law were with us to celebrate Thanksgiving. They planned to leave here mid-morning Friday for their drive back to Colorado. Judy loves to shop and also is a new slinky size and thus needs new clothes. Carsons doesn't exist in Colorado and Judy loves Carson's selections. So, of course, it's all Judy's fault.

In spite of the early hour and driving in the pitch black darkness, it seemed quite normal to be shopping once we entered the store. Bargains were purchased and we were home by 8:30 and I was ready for a nap by 10:00.

I might actually consider doing this again next year...but need Judy as my excuse :-)

NOT EATING MUCH OF THANKSGIVING DINNER

Finally, Thanksgiving at the Kosnik house means TRADITION! Tevya of Fiddler on the Roof Fame doesn't sing about the Kosnik Thanksgiving menu...but there really should be a verse about it in that famous song.

Tradition means....

....making the dressing that Ken's mom always made. This recipe involves toasting white bread in the oven at 200º for several hours on Wednesday. The bread must then be dried and turned over repeatedly, also for several hours. Then this meticulously toasted and dried bread gets covered with boiling water and, finally, the now soggy toasted bread gets squeezed by hand to remove all the water. To this bread mixture gets added all sorts of other ingredients, including unmentionable inner body turkey parts.

....rutabagas. The first year we were married I searched the produce department for this strange Swedish vegetable. Fortunately, they now have signs identifying this round, waxy, hard croquet ball of a vegetable. Rutabagas actually are just an excuse to eat lots of brown sugar and butter. I believe the ratio is one cup boiled rutabaga to one full stick of butter and a cup or more of brown sugar.

...gravy. There is actually nothing terribly original about the gravy, but I always think of my in-laws as the gravy is being made. They used to stand together at the stove bickering about every little aspect of the grand gravy sacrament. Their bickering was actually quite a beautiful witness to their togetherness. Now Ken and Judy made the gravy...and I haven't seen them bicker yet.

....cranberry. jellied. from the can. No fancy cranberry relish recipes for us! We do have a very fancy cut glass cranberry dish that gets used only on Thanksgiving. I suspect this fancy dish was originally designed for something else, but I can't imagine using it for anything but cranberry. jellied. from the can.

...sweet potatoes. This year, they were simply baked. If you hear that the marshmellow industry is suffering, that's why.

Of course, I don't eat any organ meats (such as those in the dressing), gravy, rutabagas or sweet potatoes. But I'm happy with my white meat, white potatoes, and whatever fresh vegetable I can sneak into the starchy traditions.

Mostly I'm happy to have family around the table!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Can You Say About a Day

that begins with using shampoo instead of body wash in the shower?

Did I really want my skin to have extra body?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Marvels of Technology Vs. the Good Old Days

I love being able to pay our bills online. Log into our account, put in a few (large) numbers, push a few keys, and, violá, our bills are paid. I can do these simple transactions one day and have the payment actually go out several weeks later. Some regular bills are set up to pay themselves automatically each month. I don't need to write checks. I don't need to pay for stamps. It's great!

EXCEPT.....when the credit card company sends me a new credit card because my old account"was compromised". (Was my female Mastercard caught messing around with a male Visa card???)

No problem, just change the account number and address on the on-line information and the large quantity of money goes to a new home. No problem, except for the fact that I put in the wrong account number. So Mastercard tells me that I haven't paid my bill, the bank clearly says that I have, and no one can figure out where my large quantity of money has gone. Several phone calls later, we are closer to a resolution. Mastercard will find the account that was given my money, will tell the poor folks who think they have had a windfall that what has been mysteriously given is being taken away, and will eventually credit my account...and take away the finance charges.

Oh, for the good old days (Not really).

The good old days did, however, have some pretty wonderful things. Among them was Rocky and Bullwinkle. This wonderful show debuted 50 years ago this week and our family was hooked from the beginning. We all would gather around our small TV in the living room and be mesmerized by the misadventures of Rocky the Flying Squirrel and his side-kick Bullwinkle the Moose. The "Fractured Fairy Tales" were great, but we particularly liked "Peabody's Improbable History". In that segment, Mr. Peabody (who was a dog) and his "boy Sherman" would explain historical events as they never occurred. We also were quite fond of bad guy Boris Badenov and his "better" half Natasha Fatale.

Our family was also quite fond of two other prime time cartoon shows, Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear. "Better than your average bear" became part of the family lingo and we couldn't help but think of Mr. Ranger whenever we saw a real park ranger in a national park.

The funny thing is that these were cartoon shows. My brother and I were high school age when they were in their glory. My parents - especially my dad - loved these shows. They were totally innocent and totally silly....and I miss them!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

30 Years

Our congregation celebrated its 50th anniversary this year and this weekend was culmination of the many special events. Last night we attended a fancy dinner and this morning was a special celebratory worship. What was particularly special was that almost all of the pastors who have served this congregation were in attendance at both events. They were recognized and teased at last night's dinner and they all participated in this morning's worship. Seven of them lined up in front of the altar for a group photo was quite a sight!

We have been members of this congregation for 30 of its 50 years and know every one of the pastors except for the first. This morning's preacher spoke about all the memories an anniversary brings and I didn't hear much of the rest of his sermon because I was thinking of all the memories.

I looked at Pastor F and realized he had baptized and confirmed both of our sons. He and I worked together very closely during a difficult time in the congregation's life when I happened to be the lay leader. He officiated at my father's memorial service. He twice sat with me in a hospital waiting area before undergoing surgery. He made Ken comfortable and welcome at our church when he wasn't yet ready to become a Lutheran and then guided him through the process when he was.

I looked at Pastor B who entered my life at a critical time. He arrived as an assistant pastor when I was pregnant with Kevin. He and his wife were always interested in our boys and indulgent with their coffee hour antics. He preached at my dad's memorial service and prepared for that sermon by talking with me for a couple of hours, subtly bringing out memories I had forgotten I had. I'm most thankful to Pastor B, however, for his Tuesday morning Bible studies that introduced me to the Bible as I had never seen it before. He would read to us directly from his Greek Bible to give accurate word meanings. He taught me to really think about what we read and consider the culture of the times. His humility and wisdom have made a deep impression on me and my faith.

Then there was Pastor J who introduced us to a much wider church than we had before experienced. Through him we became friends with foreign doctoral students studying at the seminary in Chicago and we began to welcome refugees from around the world. Mostly I am thankful to Pastor J for mentoring David. Another humble and wise man, Pastor J took David (and many other teens) under his wing and quietly gave him terrific lessons on how to be a Christian. I credit Pastor J with much of the nurturing that has developed David's faith.

Pastor S was an interim pastor twice - after two different pastors left. He brought joy and calm into what could have been traumatic times. The twinkle in his eye was always enough to get people to do what needed to be done and to smile while doing it!

Pastor G brought many new ideas. I wasn't always happy with his new ideas but that disagreement on some practices really helped me to think and really helped me to realize "it's not about me". It took a lot of kicking and screaming on my part to come to that realization however. Pastor G spent a long time with Kevin prior to his hours delayed jaw surgery and forged a good bond with Ken when he was hospitalized. Pastor G's quiet presence was particularly good with both of them.

Pastor W was another interim pastor who inspired me with her mid-life career change, her willingness to step up to the plate in a couple of very difficult circumstances, her calmness in the midst of chaos, and her ability to balance pastoral and grandmotherly duties. Watching a woman my age baptize an infant and then in a lovingly grandmotherly way carry the infant down the aisle was a beautiful sight.

Finally Pastor K is our recently installed new pastor. Having served on the call committee I already know him quite well and am excited about the gifts he brings. I think he has been a bit overwhelmed by all the anniversary hoopla surrounding his arrival, but am sure that his leadership is going to result in yet more wonderful surprises.

These pastors have shared half of my life and I have shared theirs. None have been social friends, but they and their spouses have been family. Seeing pictures of their grandchildren last night and sharing our family news was like a family reunion. Seeing them all together was a gift....a reminder of the shared experiences, a reminder of how God works through so many different types of people, and a reminder that change isn't always easy but God sees us through it.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Few Travel Observations

In spite of all the terrorism warnings and reminders ad nauseum, a man sitting near me in the departure area at O'Hare asked me where McDonalds is located and then ASKED ME TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIS BAGS while he went there! I was dumbfounded....and totally nervous that someone would come and put a bomb in his suitcase. He was on my flight, after all!

Later at the Burlington airport I entered a small washroom. Outside the stall a woman had just parked her suitcase and computer bag while she used the facilities. Granted, it is difficult to get all your stuff into a small stall....but REALLY DUMB to leave your stuff where anyone can easily take it. Anybody want the laptop I borrowed from her?

My father who over-taught me over and over again to be super careful about everything would be horrendously horrified.

People in Vermont must really be as quirky and back to nature as they are made out to be. It was 50º in Chicago and is 40º here. Nonetheless, there were at least two people on the plane wearing flip-flops and my young male seatmate was wearing just a t-shirt. (Actually he also had on pants and shoes, but you knew that!)

Finally, while riding in the hotel shuttle we passed a decent looking motel named the "Ho-Hum Inn". Who on earth would want to stay somewhere that advertises itself as "Ho-Hum"?

Fortunately I'm staying in a fascinating Hampton Inn and will now go for a swim in its exhilarating tiny indoor pool, eat dinner at the gourmet quality "T BONES" restaurant next door, and watch Glee with glee later on. I hope deciding which of the four different types of pillows is most comfortable won't keep me awake all night.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

10 Inconsequential Things

Sometimes it's the small things that bring joy to an ordinary day.

1. DRIVE-UP PHARMACIES It happened about 28 years too late, but we have a new Walgreens complete with the FIRST drive-up anything allowed in this town. It isn't -20º and I wasn't dragging a sick two-year-old, but it still was nice to stay in my car and pick up a prescription.

2. DRIVE-THRU McDONALDS Also about 28 years too late, but Northbrook is about to get its FIRST drive-through restaurant. It will be located about six blocks from our first home. The irony of this is that Ken often traveled to Europe when the boys were young. To break up the lo-o-o-o-ng days, I'd pack the kids in the car and drive at least twenty minutes to the complete other side of the village in order to let them feast and play in the inside equipment. Sometimes I'd drive twenty minutes in another direction to go through a drive-in when Ken wasn't coming home and I couldn't stand the idea of cooking mac and cheese one more time. I doubt I'll be a regular customer at this new McD's, but I'm excited for some young mom with a traveling husband and young kids.

3. STUFFED ANIMALS (Spoiler Alert, Nancy) Every month there is a sale at the nursing home. Someone brings in all sorts of things for the residents to buy. My mother, the professional bargain shopper, loves this event. Yesterday I gave her $20 and suggested she buy some Christmas presents. Today she proudly showed me her purchases which included three adorable stuffed animals for her great-grandsons. (Of course, there are only two great-grandsons, but math isn't Mom's strong suit.) The funny thing is that I had no fewer than five conversations and "petting" episodes as I walked out of the building holding these soft creatures. Whether age two or ninety-two, stuffed animals bring out "oohs" and "ahs" in everyone.

4. LISTS I packed today for a two-day seminar series. I've always despised packing and could spend hours worrying that I had included all the necessary items. About six months ago I made a list of all the things I might need for a trip. I also bought duplicates of all my toiletries and packed cosmetic bags with all those items. I keep all the "technical" gear in my computer bag. Now I pull down my cosmetic bags, lay out my clothes, put the computer in its bag, double check that I've included everything else on my list, and, voilá, I'm packed.

5. SUNSHINE It's gray and Novemberish in Chicago today, but they predict sun in Burlington VT tomorrow. Burlington is a beautiful town on the shores of Lake Champlain. Last time I was there it was so rainy and cloudy that I never saw the lake. I'll see it tomorrow!

6. SENSE OF HUMOR I printed my boarding pass and was horrified to see that my name is listed as Kosnik AliceMS. "Oh, no!" I thought. "They'll never let me through security if my name doesn't match my ID." A quick e-mail response from the logistics person at my company assured me there is no problem. United requires a title and I guess I'm a "Ms." Guess she'll go home and have a good laugh tonight with her family over a dumb presenter!

7. TURQUOISE I had a manicure and pedicure yesterday. The finger nails are a nice professional clear shade. My toes are turquoise! Ken laughed and commented that he was glad I hadn't gotten a tattoo.

8. PUMPKIN PIE I made one Sunday. It's really OK to make something I really like when it's not yet Thanksgiving.

9. JERSEY BOYS We saw Jersey Boys last Valentine's Day and both said we'd love to see it again - something we've never said about any other play. Today I was able to get inexpensive tickets for a matinee while my brother and sister-in-law are here for Thanksgiving. I'm smiling already!

10. CASSEROLE I made two on Sunday. We'll eat one for dinner tonight. I don't have to cook! Enough said!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

My Bucket List

By coincidence I've been to the internist, the opthamalogist, and the dentist in the past two weeks. I've also had my hair colored, my toes and fingers painted, and have exercised. Everything is in working order and as "beautiful" as it can be!

While very thankful for my health and the financial resources that make extravagances like hair and nail colorings possible, I'm having very guilty feelings as I see so much suffering around me. My prayers go out to one cousin's wife who has experienced miracles in her recovery from a horrific automobile accident, but now is facing difficult rehab that will probably not result in a return to complete normal living. Another cousin is in a crisis situation with a long term cancer. A good friend continues to battle a mysterious condition that doesn't appear to have a cure. I daily witness the effects of disease and old age among the nursing home residents. I grieve for acquaintances and friends who have lost spouses. And, oh yes, the unbelievably suffering all over the world is always on the front page of the newspaper. In most of the above situations, prayer is about the only way I can help and, while extremely important, I'm left feeling guilty for my inability to make things better. I also can worry about when it'll be my turn to suffer with something.

So I spent a couple of days pondering and, while this issue will arise again, have come to a sense of calm. We will never know why bad things happen. We have no control over many bad things, but God doesn't want us to spend our lives worrying about what might happen. He wants us to help those in need but not to stop enjoying his creation in the process.

So, I'll approach my bucket list with joyful anticipation. There are three states that I have not yet visited: Nevada, Idaho and Hawaii. Nevada and Hawaii will wait (see recent post on Vegas) but Ken and I hope to get to Idaho to visit his sister soon.

Meanwhile, we've made reservations to visit two other states in February: Yucatán and Quintana Roo. Did I mention they are in Mexico? Did I mention Ken has been wanting to see Mayan ruins since we've known each other? Did I mention that, as a teacher, I've never been able to travel in February? We're going to do it and we'll learn and grow together in the experience and I think God wants us to take advantage of opportunities like that.

Besides, I'm quite sure that prayers uttered in Mexico are just as effective as those coming from Illinois!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

You Are Fearfully and Wondefully Made

There's something to be said for memorizing Bible verses. For a variety of reasons I'm feeling cranky today....that I'm totally out of it on so many levels. In the midst of these feelings, the above words from Psalm 139 popped into my head and reminded me that I'm not "out of it" in God's eyes. I do wonder sometimes about some of my fearfully and wonderfully made traits however.

Genetically I was destined to be left-handed, far-sighted, have a longer right leg, have second toes longer than the big toes, and have attached earlobes. From my birth family I received an excellent childhood, but also received some traits that make me incredibly weird in the eyes of the world. We never had a dog or cat and I don't have a clue about taking care of an animal. My parents never cared about sports and I've never watched a professional team sport on television - except when under duress at someone's home or in a restaurant. My parents cared tremendously about the English language and, as readers of this blog already know, I go ballistic when I read the preposition that someone ended a sentence WITH. My children are right-handed, near-sighted and have "normal" toes and earlobes. Unfortunately, however, they "inherited" the animal, sports, and language traits. They are working to overcome those disabilities.


So, by genetics and up-bringing, I'm already totally out of it in most conversations. I can't talk about my dog, I can't respond when someone says, "So how about those Cubs?". I can't talk about my golf game or even understand what my golfer friends are talking about. And no one cares when I rant about misspellings or incorrect word usage.


Fearfully and wonderfully made to be a sports and animal dummy who gets hysterical about improper language usage.

I play bridge occasionally with three dear teaching friends. We sometimes play all day and love both the game and our conversations. We talk about our families, the junior high, our mutual friends, books, and whatever foolishness is happening in Illinois politics. At some point during each bridge day, however, the talk turns to Vegas. All three make several trips to Las Vegas each year, all three enjoy gambling there, all three can talk for hours about the advantages of one hotel over the other, all three talk about the perks they get from hotels and casinos for being repeat customers, and all three talk about the shows they have seen. I've never been to Las Vegas. I also have absolutely no desire to go to Las Vegas. I'm not on some anti-Vegas soapbox, I'm just not interested. But, boy do I feel weird and out of it when this conversation develops.

Fearfully and wonderfully made to be totally unaware of the whole Vegas thing.

Our choir is preparing for an upcoming concert. We are learning an extremely challenging piece. It is so difficult that professional section leaders are being hired to help us. It is so difficult that 8:00 a.m. Sunday special rehearsals are being held. It is so difficult that rehearsals are a half hour longer than usual. It is so difficult that the entire rehearsal is dedicated to this piece, leaving no time for the easier songs on the program. My feelings are of total frustration because I can't stand to do something "half-assed" and know that I will never be able to master this piece. I feel insulted that we aren't good enough to sing this without professional help. And I'm dumb-founded that apparently I'm the only one who feels this way. While I'm sitting silently hating every moment spent on this piece, I hear others say, "Oh what a beautiful piece" and "How great that ____ can sing with us."

Fearfully and wonderfully made to be so annoyed and upset about things that really aren't so important.

This morning I went once again to the Zumba water aerobics class. Once again, I was unbelievably frustrated as I can't begin to follow dance moves, especially in the water. Meanwhile, other women are shimmying and shaking their shoulders and even yelling out "olés". I wanted to just hide in a corner of the pool and do my frog jumps and jumping jacks without anyone seeing me.

Fearfully and wonderfully made to not have a dancing bone in my body.

What a blessing to remember on a crabby day that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that God loves me and all those unusual traits that are part of being fearfully and wonderfully made.