Strange Things I've Learned This Week

After several years of wearing athletic shoes that were so wide that I felt like I was wearing rowboats on my feet, I went to a REAL shoe store where they have employees who actually measure your foot and bring you shoes in your size! I learned that my left foot is a half size larger than my right foot (not to be confused with my right leg which is a half inch longer than my left leg). I learned that, yes, my feet are still narrow in spite of the rest of me being definitely not narrow. I learned that only 5% of the populace has narrow feet and that shoe manufacturers (except for the wonderful New Balance brand I bought) are not willing to make shoes that only fit 5% of the world. I learned that sale shoes at a real shoe store are not really more expensive than they are at DSW. Most importantly, I learned that, if I wear shoes that actually fit, my ankles do not have to hurt after walking.

Now I have to learn if anyone sells skinny non-athletic shoes to my minority group.

While listening to a talk radio segment about the I-Phone, I learned that the most popular "ap" for the I-Phone is the I-Fart. Yes, you can set your phone to make long, short, wet, or bubbly fart sounds. Yes, you can set this "ap" to go off if someone else touches your phone. Yes, you can set the timer so your fart sound goes off in the middle of your parent teacher conference. Of course, now that I think of it, I've been at a few parent teacher conferences where that would have broken the ice....as it were.

Speaking of parent teacher conferences, Kevin taught his first private percussion lessons at a local high school this week. He learned that it feels mighty strange to be called "Mr. Kosnik" in a non-pejorative setting.

I've learned that the Chicago Tribune no longer has proof-readers. Colonel McCormick must be rolling over in his grave since his venerable newspaper has fallen to the depths of spelling hell. It's bad enough when people confuse "then" and "than", but this week the FRONT PAGE said that "X" is better THEN "Y".

Of course, why should the Tribune be better than foreign language teachers who, in theory, have gone to college. On listserv messages this week, one teacher spoke of "alters" her students were going to make to observe the Day of the Dead while another was going to teach her students some "site" words.

So, I've learned that my feet are too skinny, that I have no sense of humor about I-farts after thirty years of hearing "Hey, Who cut the cheese?" in middle school classrooms, that I'm too young to have a son called "Mr.", and that I guess it's better to ALTER my SITES THEN not to.

And, yes, a preposition is what I ended this entry with.