I Need Gene Therapy

What is gone:
3 brown-spotted, half filled jars of apple sauce
a greenish jar of salsa
a blueish/blackish hunk of cheese
two pints of squishy, brownish strawberries
a bag of soggy, puke green lettuce
a baggie containing some reddish glop that looks like something found by a CSI pathologist

What remains:
very old, but still OK, beets which are currently in boiling water
24-count them- 24 little plastic containers of peaches
37-count them-37 containers of yogurt
an assortment of pickles, bright green lettuce, yellow cheese, and ONE jar of tannish apple
sauce
pink ground beef for tonight's meat loaf

Yes, you guessed it, I cleaned out the refrigerator....and I'm mortified. Embarrassed by the huge amount of food I tossed out and by the over-abundance of peaches and yogurt--although they WERE on big sale two weeks in a row!

When the kids were little and I was working full time, the refrigerator got cleaned out once a year during the summer. Once a year during the summer my closet got organized. Once a year during the summer I found how many tubes of toothpaste and packages of floss I had stock-piled during the year.

Now those tasks are getting done at least twice a year! But everything is just as big a mess as it was when organizing happened less often....and there's only two of us living in the house. What's wrong with this picture?

I think it's due to my lack of the cleaning gene. I confess to having kept the cleaning lady twice a month after I retired, so at least one week of every two, the house is clean. (Some of you may not know that I went back to work so that I could have a cleaning lady - no lie!) Ken picks up the slack and shines the floors and bathroom should we have company on a non-cleaning lady week.

I'm also missing the organizing gene. Why go searching through the refrigerator to see if there is applesauce when it's so easy to just pick up another jar? Why organize my basket of greeting cards when it is so much fun to spend 15 minutes going through 50 cards to find the one sympathy card I know is in there?

In reality, there is hope. My closet is actually in order, as is the bathroom closet, but it's mighty hard to keep up with all the places that need help. My niece reports that her mom, my sister-in-law Judy, regularly organizes her drawers and cabinets when she visits. If I fly you in, Judy, can you work your magic at our house, too? You've got the right genes!

I Love 20-somethings

I loved it when my kids were two years old. As much as I loved them in their infancy, I REALLY loved it when they started to speak and I found out what was in their heads.

Two, however, has nothing on the 20's!

This fact hit me in the face today when I was tutoring Laney. Laney has been a neighbor her entire life. I tutored her in Spanish during high school. Now at a Chicago area college, she again needs some assistance and so we planned to meet for an hour this morning. Well, two and a half hours later we were finished. What I realized after this marathon, however, was that I was smiling and invigorated. Laney is very gregarious and tells me all sorts of details about her life and, rather than getting irritated at Laney for not staying "on task", I just love it!

Today's "Laney revelation" reminded me of all the "20 somethings" in my life - mostly people I've known their entire lives - with whom I can now share a totally new and different type of relationship. Not only are the relationships different, I get to witness the marvelous transformation of these special people over their lifetimes so far.

Obviously, there's David and Kevin. Actually "David" has transformed to "Dave" to most folks, but I'm blown away by what the people I still sometimes think of as "Davey" and "Kevie" have become. Obviously I'm proud of their achievements, but I'm so blown away by WHO they are. I love the way they show their love for the women in their lives. I love their consideration of others, their work ethic, their care for the world, their respect for all sorts of other human beings, their fairness, and their curiosity...among other things. Best of all, for me, is that - removed from the daily nagging about homework, bed time, etc - we can actually talk about stuff they care about, adult to adult. And I love that they share "what's in their head" much more articulately than when they were two!

Then there are the women who love them. What more can a mother ask than for another woman to love her son! I just love sharing "teacher talk" with Lisa. I love discussing books with her. I love it when she talks about David's quirks. I love talking with Jennifer about cooking...mostly because she is so much more talented than I in that area! I love hearing about her animals and enjoy her quirky sense of humor about naming them. I love the way she shows that she likes being around us. Lisa and Jennifer are the only folks in today's blog that I haven't known all their lives, but I feel like I have. I'm not their moms, but neither am I "Mrs. Kosnik". I'm "Alice" to them and we are friends---and I love that.

Then there's Nancy and Tom, my niece and nephew. Separated by geography, I didn't see them with great regularity as they were growing up. Living thousands of miles away from each other, I wasn't always tuned in to the minutia of the growing up years. As adults, however, it's a true joy to become their friend - not just the aunt. None of us are great with phone calls, but blogging has helped us see into each other's souls...and it's exciting. Reading Tom's poetry is mind-boggling! How can the "kid" who once accidentally brought baby mice to school in his shoe now write poetry that can bring me to tears? I once also cried with a newly pregnant Nancy, sitting in her kitchen 3+ years ago joyfully anticipating what motherhood would bring her. Now she shares her daily experiences with two sons and regularly helps me relive the joys and frustrations of mothering two boys under three. I'm excited that next week Ken and I will be in Seattle with Tom and so appreciative of the adult relationship I can now have with both Tom and Nancy.

Margaret and Andy have been part of our "family" forever. They have morphed from the babies that I've babysat, to the toddlers who put on "plays" with David and Kevin, to the awkwardness of being my students "Cristina" and "Andrés" in 8th grade, to being tolerated as their parents' friends in high school, to now being their friends. What fun it is to talk with them about their hopes and dreams, and to hear the stories of their adventures. I'm now "Alice" with them, too and I love it!

Then there's Kerry, Randy , Eric and a legion of other "20 somethings". Again, more joy in knowing what wonderful contributions they are all making to the world and what joy that they are now "my friends".

Thank you to all of you for keeping me young (in spirt, anyway), for letting me be in your lives as a friend, and for making me so very proud of all of you!

Runner-up

The Civic Orchestra percussion auditions were Monday. Kevin was a runner-up at last year's auditions but became a full-time orchestra member when another percussionist got a "real" job and left. It has been an absolutely marvelous experience for him! He has a place to practice at Symphony Center, he has worked with world class conductors, he has learned a great deal through his work with "Musicorps" presenting percussion programs in schools, and he has gotten other "gigs" through his affiliation with Civic. Not the least of the benefits has been the opportunity to live in the same city as Jennifer! He REALLY hoped to be in Civic another year - but had to re-audition.

Kevin was first runner up. Again.

Kevin had a similar experience with graduate school. He had a terrible May 1, 2006 - during senior year at NU. He didn't get into any of the three grad programs he wanted. Julliard didn't take any new students and New England and Manhattan wait listed him. About a month later both schools contacted him on the same day and offered him a position. He chose NEC and had a wonderful experience working with the perfect teacher. It worked out perfectly!

So, given three experiences with being first runner up, the first two of which worked out in the best possible way, we have to be confident that this experience will also work out for the best. I have to leave that in God's hands - which is hard - but He has certainly surprised our entire family over and over again with incredible opportunities, and I have no reason to doubt that He will stop.

What makes me very proud is how Kevin deals with these set-backs. Sure, he is very disappointed but, when I talked with him last night, he was on his way to a rehearsal for a "gig" in Evanston this weekend, was excited about another "gig" he will have playing with the New World Symphony in Miami next month, and talked of preparing for up-coming auditions for "real" orchestras.

Kevin spends a tremendous amount of time alone in a practice room, going over and over musical phrases. EVERY DAY he spends a couple of HOURS just "warming up" before beginning work on new music. It takes unbelievable discipline and passion. Ken and I are extremely proud of him - not just when we see him onstage, but especially when he deals with a set-back by practicing yet more.

Obviously Kevin is the musician that we love and are proud of.....but all musicians out there are doing the same thing in order to share their musical gifts with the rest of us. 46 percussionists tried out for the Civic percussion openings, 44 didn't make it, but 46 sets of parents must be plenty proud of their children for their determination and hard, hard, work.

Random Thoughts About Numbers

Tonight the President is going to talk to us about numbers - serious numbers relating to our current economic crisis - and that led me to being aware of numbers in other aspects of my life today.

1. I got an e-mail from BER today. They are cutting back the number of days each foreign language presenter will work next year due to huge cutbacks in school districts' budgets. I was scheduled for 25 days, now will have 20. They are not going to any city next year that didn't have a high enough number of participants this winter....and they simply ran out of cities! Bummer! (Being an eternal optimist, maybe Ken and I can take the cancelled January work week and go somewhere warm! Numbers in the 80's sound much more pleasant than numbers in the 10's)

2. Then BER sent me my numbers for next week's seminars and I had to count out my handouts for those groups: how many business cards, how many puzzles, etc. I even counted out the little candies I use for "prizes" - don't want to carry 100 candies if I only need 50!

3. Because, after all, the airlines depend on numbers: no more than 50 pounds per bag, no more liquid items than will fit in a quart size baggie, no liquid more than 3 oz.---and don't forget the $15 charge for each checked bag.

4. Friday is "auction day" at Rosewood. The residents get "money" each time they participate in any activity and they get lots more "money" when they win a game. Mom has LOTS of money this month - in part because friend Barbara who moved gave Mom all her "money". One of Mom's disabilities is that she can't manipulate numbers any more, so today I counted her cash in preparation for Friday's big event. She has $36,000....and there's still two days to go! She should be able to buy quite a number of valuable items at the auction!

5. On my way home from Rosewood I stopped at the cleaners to pick up two pairs of pants that had been shortened. I'm 5'7" tall and have been the same height since 8th grade. It is on the tall side of average. For most of my life I had a hard time finding pants that were long enough for me. Recently, I always have to have pants shortened. There are probably a number of reasons for this change. Most of our clothing is made in other countries where the metric system is used. Am I shorter in centimeters? The U.S. tailors have formed a lobbying group that is bribing the clothing manufacturers to make longer pants so that they get all the lucrative shortening work? Even though the ERA has not passed, the government is guaranteeing that average height women must put up with all the annoyances that petite and tall women have always faced? Is it a plot???

6. The number 40 starts tomorrow - 40 days of Lent. How can that happen when my pointsettia is still blooming beautifully?

7. I also made an ATM stop today. What would my father think about going to a machine, putting in a number code and magically getting money? What about hitting the numbers 5/3 on my computer (the strange name of our bank), entering yet another number series to access my account, then entering more numbers to magically pay our bills. When he was a young man, my dad would take his check to the bank on his lunch hour and get it all in cash, then pay his bills in person and in cash!

8. When I came home, I read our new congregational "profile" in anticipation of the first Call Committee meeting on Thursday. The last 20 pages or so were full of numbers giving data on the four communities that represent most of our members. Can a prospective Pastor get any idea of who we are from a listing of house prices, dollars spent per child in the schools, number of miles people drive to work, or percentage of Republicans and Democrats? Someone must think so.

9. Then, of course, are all the numbers that I have forgotten. Good thing I just have to push 2 on the cell phone to find out when Ken will be home tonight! A few numbers have gotten easier!

We're So Nosy!

A high school girl in a neighboring town disappeared Friday afternoon while running with her track team. Many citizens spent Saturday searching through wooded areas searching for this young woman. Saturday evening the girl showed up at her home.....and there the story ends......and that is driving people crazy! Yes, people are very happy that she is safe at home and, yes, they respect the family's right to privacy in what is surely a difficult situation. But, oh, we are soooooooooo nosy! What happened???????????

My mother's friend Barbara recently moved from Rosewood to another nursing home. Barbara told people when she was moving, but didn't tell anyone why ........and that is driving my mother crazy! How could she not share the juicy details?

My friend Gail visits the sick as part of her job at the church. Some folks don't want information about their illnesses to be shared. Gail is great at keeping those confidences.....and it drives me crazy! Of course, I respect people's privacy....but I'm soooooo nosy.

Why do we care so much about things that really are other people's business?

I don't know, but maybe I'll feel less confused if I take a walk to the convenience store for a People or Star magazine and look in all the neighbors' windows as I walk by :-)

About 20 years ago I was the lay leader of our congregation. It was a time of great rancor. We were building a big addition and asking for money for same. Rewriting the church constitution - by definition of one of the most brain-numbing activities in the world - turned into a huge brou-ha-ha over church finances and leadership. Although Council meetings and annual congregational meetings had clear agendas, they were usually hijacked by a few difficult individuals who had personal axes to grind. My stomach cramped in anticipation of each meeting.

We got through those years. Difficult people moved on. Our beautiful addition was completed. Gradually, with occasional relapses, our congregation started working as it should. This doesn't mean there haven't been differences of opinion and difficult issues, but for the most part, they have been dealt with appropriately.

Fast forward to today. This morning was our annual congregational meeting and it was remarkable. After all the turmoil related to calling and then losing a wonderful pastor, the meeting was calm, optimistic, and laced with laughter. Present slate of candidates, vote, elect. Present budget, discuss briefly, vote, pass. Explain proposed constitutional changes (yes, once again!), discuss, approve. Thank out-going president, welcome new one. Open meeting for discussion, listen to one person's articulate and polite criticism, hear a polite counter-opinion, continue respectful dialogue over coffee. Wow!

Parents and teachers are told repeatedly that modeling appropriate behavior is critical for the development of children. It has been critical at Ascension this year also. What could have been an explosive, divisive, ugly year has, instead, resulted in calm, optimistic people who are confidently waiting to find out what growth God is going to make possible in this new year.

That modeling has come from many people, but particularly from Chris - the outgoing president. Throughout all the crises, he has remained faithful, calm, supportive, and optimistic. Most importantly, he is a man without ego issues. What a change from the ego-driven axe grinders of twenty years ago! Thank you, Chris....and may we all learn from you!

A "Cutting Edge" Blog Entry

Two e-mails arrived yesterday which led me to computer research this afternoon. The first was from BER and it was the routine yearly request to update my brochures. What caught my eye was the suggestion that I might want to consider updating to "reflect current cutting-edge, state of the art best practices ".

The second e-mail was from a young teacher who had attended my recent Chicago area seminar. She had been to a faculty meeting at her middle school where they discussed an article titled A Prescription for Success. She wanted my opinion on a number of "best practices" and "research based techniques" that she feels she is now being expected to follow. I felt really stupid since I had never heard of ANY of these. Upon researching, I discovered they were all techniques for teaching struggling readers that have absolutely no relation to teaching beginning foreign language students. I reassured her (I hope) that she is doing the right things in her classes and gave her some ways to explain foreign language "best practices" to her administrators.

No Child Left Behind has created a need for Response to Intervention programs which use such gobbidy gook techniques as Reciprocal Teach, Anticipation Guides and Expert Driven Instruction. After more than 30 years in the education business, I just roll my eyes at each "new", "research based" educational panacea. Somewhere back in the 70's when the "Open Classroom" and "Individualized Instruction" were the "new" ideas, I realized that "this too shall pass.".

Of course, my teaching changed significantly from 1966 to 2006, but the changes were primarily external---no more purple dittoes and filmstrip projectors! Today the people who make a living by inventing such miracles as "Reciprocal Teach" are actually just tweaking the common sense ideas that I learned from my supervisor in the 1960's. It's a shame that newer teachers in our test driven environment have to kow-tow to whatever new technique is in vogue.

And it's a shame I'm going to have to use some "educ speak" in my brochure revisions. It sure would be easier and more truthful to tell them that I'm simply going to "show them some really cool ideas for foreign language teaching".