End of an Era

Ken's last surviving aunt passed away last week. Yesterday and today we attended the visitation and funeral. Although she was ninety, even I---as an in-law---felt the passing of an era.

The funeral was held at St. John's church where Ken's family belonged for many years and where Ken attended school and served as altar boy. We arrived somewhat early, so drove around the neighborhood looking at important places of Ken's childhood. Although the church has a beautiful large new sanctuary, they retained the old church on the property. Ken and I stood there as he mused, "Man, I spent a lot of time in this space."

Ken's aunt was buried in the same cemetery as Ken's parents, so we naturally visited their grave site after the interment. We stood there with some of Ken's siblings and just were quiet. Someone finally, profoundly (!), said, "Wow, time flies."

At the visitation and, especially at lunch, the sibling and cousin conversations centered on remembrances, especially the many challenges that Ken's dad, his aunt, and their nine siblings faced as young people.

It's funny. When you marry someone, you marry their family. You also marry their history, which is tricky because you didn't live it. After thirty years, I know a lot, but I'll never really understand some things because in many ways Ken's childhood was very different from mine.

I guess it's one of the mysteries of marriage. You love your spouse, you share an incredible amount of experiences, you share basic values, but you can never share your childhood.

Two little funnies in a basically serious day:

Ken is truly a convert to Lutheranism. He and I sang out on the first hymn......and no one except the cantor opened their mouth. Ooops.

I asked the question I've long had. Ken had an Aunt Hattie and I've often wondered if that was a nickname or her given name. Turns out her name was Hedwig with the addition of unusual middle and last names. I then found out that she met her husband because of that unusual name. She lived near Chicago and had insurance through the Foresters. The Foresters put out a magazine with a page with names and addresses for "Pen-pals". A man in Missouri searched for a pen-pal and choose the most unusual name on the page. A marriage and twelve children followed...but I think her given name remained a secret for her whole life!