Not the Sunday Comics

Since I have been a mother I've always found Mother's Day a little weird. In the Sunday comics the husband and young children always prepare breakfast in bed for mom. Then the parents and adorable little children go off together to church, the park, or some other place to frolic together. Who would not love such a beautiful scenario?

The reality is that not all women who want to be moms are moms. Thankfully, most moms have their own moms and their moms-in-law to consider in the Mother's Day plans, but some don't. Other moms have their daughters or daughters-in-law who are also moms to consider in their plans, but some don't. Many moms don't live near their adult children. Then, of course, there are the moms who, for all sorts of awful reasons, are not moms their children want to honor.

I'm long past the scenario I described in the first paragraph. In fact, that never happened even when the kids were young, and I'm just as happy. This mom, even then, would much rather eat her cereal at the table with the newspaper and coffee! The frolicking with the adorable little children usually didn't happen either because most Mother's Days involved either travel to see Ken's parents or preparing to host them at our house......and that was as it should have been! Meanwhile, Ed and Judy were hosting or being hosted by my parents and phone calls were exchanged between Northbrook and Sun City.

So, how did today's Mother's Day play out?

It started with Ken and I at our church. Later I visited a nearby church to hear the sermon of a possible pastoral candidate. At both churches the pastor was so very careful to wish a happy day to all mothers, to all god-mothers, to all grandmothers, to all women who care for children, to anyone who in any way has ever done something mother-like to another human being. I exaggerate, but don't criticize. It's more than political correctness - the church, thankfully, is past the days when mothers were honored right up there with God and non-mothers felt like garbage. As someone who married "late", I felt that more than once!

Then I picked up my mother and brought her home. She was cheerful, alert, and conversed happily, but there were painful moments for me. One is never prepared to watch one's mother struggle to get from the wheel chair to the car, or to have to help her in the bathroom worried that--in spite of Ken and I both holding on--she would fall while walking the few steps from the door to the toilet. Fortunately, we had no disasters.

Ken cooked his wonderful ribs and we dished out the deli salads purchased at the "scary" local supermarket for a different group of "family."---my mom, David, Lisa, Kevin, and Lisa's parents Barb and John. We celebrated Mother's Day as well as Lisa's upcoming "big" birthday. We had a quick meal, then D,L, B and J were off to the airport and Kevin was off to work and my Mom was back at Rosewood....and I was reading the paper on the couch!

Not the Sunday comics' Mother's Day but good anyway. Not many women have their mom around when they are themselves in their sixties. Not many women have adult children nearby. Not all women have a husband, sons and a daughter-in-law who go out of their way to tend to their mother-in-law/grandmother. Not everyone gets along with - let alone enjoys - spending time with a son's in-laws. Not the Sunday comics, but good anyway!