Kiss It and Make It Better

Yesterday I ran into Ruth, a friend with whom I served on our church's call committee. We had worked together for a year and a half and eventually found the absolutely perfect candidate for our new Pastor. The only wrinkle was that he is gay. (The ELCA's position--an awkward one that really makes no one happy --is that a gay person can serve as a pastor as long as he/she is celibate.) After much prayer and deliberation we presented Pastor Patrick to the congregation last May. As you would imagine, the congregation reacted in a variety of ways - everything from jubilant joy to walking out the door. Eventually the congregation voted to call Pastor Patrick and we had six months of wonderful pastoral leadership. Many of those who expressed concerns about calling a gay pastor came to love Pastor Patrick and joy returned to our worship. We all heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Just before Christmas, an event--unforeseeable to both Pastor and us--occurred. The sad result was that Pastor Patrick resigned. Once again our Call Committee has been called into action.

Ruth and I talked about how how God has used the experiences of the past year for all kinds of spiritual growth in our congregation. Ruth quoted a friend who believes that "faith is looking at the past." As we look at our congregational past, we DO see how God has used all things for good. We are confident that things will work out as we begin a pastoral search once again. But, from this point in time, it's sure hard to see a clear path ahead.

That conversation stayed in my head last night as I thought about Kevin. He is in the midst of auditions again - summer programs, Civic Orchestra for next year, and positions in professional orchestras. All I want to do is "kiss it and make it better" -- somehow for Kevin to know that he will achieve his career goals. Although it seemed hard at the time, from today's perspective it was easy to kiss away Kevin's "owies" when he was little. But now, we can't see the clear path ahead and I can't "kiss it and make it better".

Patience isn't my strong suit....but how can I deny that the God who directed me on a professional path that I could never have forseen, who brought Ken into my life at age 32 when I had about given up on being a wife, who then brought two wonderful sons into my life when it wasn't easy, is not going to continue to surprise us? In spite of that wonderful history, it's still hard to have "faith looking at the past".

As my mother's old refrigerator magnet said, "God grant me patience...and I want it right now!"